Part 16

 

 

Sitting outside the door like a faithful dog, Logan’s ears were sharp.

Victor perked up at a visitor, but wasn't pleased at who it was.  Then there was Remy’s smell…it was different.  He smelled... more of o'zone.  He smelled like he used to.  "Well, well, well.  Lookit what the catfish dragged in—a bunch o' scum!"

Outside, Logan stood up and started snarling, letting his claws snikt out just at hearing the greeting.

Remy growled at Creed.  "I tink Logan was plain lyin'," he remarked.  "But I still have ta ask you...  Why did you want me all dose years ago, hunh?"

"Ya mean, why did I fuck ya?" he taunted.

Logan kept thinking to himself 'don't you lie, don't you dare lie, you miserable piece of shit, I'll never visit again, don't you dare lie to him.'

Stiffening, Remy looked at Creed with glowing eyes.  Creed wasn't in the mood to have his skin burned off, even if it would grow back.  "Okay, kid.  Sit down," he motioned to the place beside the bars.                 

"I prefer t' stand, tanks," Remy bit out.

"You sit or I won't tell," he said.  Remy sat down just out of arm's reach beyond the cell walls.                        

"Talk," he ordered.

"Truth is that when I saw you again after France, I didn't know you changed... until we had our little introductory spat.  You remember that, don't you?"     

"Stop talkin' like y' holdin' a great hand, Creed."  Grinning at that, Logan just loved that Cajun.

"I must be, 'cause otherwise, why would you come an' see me about it?  Why the interest anyway?"                                    

"It came up when I was talkin' ta Logan, an' I wanna know."

Creed shrugged.  "Okay.  After we fought, you healed right in front of my eyes.  Can't tell ya how much of a turn on that was."                            

"Yeah, I know y' like t' eat y' fuck partners."  That was a jab at him because he had also killed Birdie, a girl that used to work for him that was also his lover.

"Awe, I didn't leave any scars," he protested sweetly. 

"So, y' wanned ta fuck me 'cause I could heal an' you could beat me up as much as y' wanted?"  That was sick.

"I suppose you could say that," he said, putting his arms behind his head.

Snarling outside, Logan mumbled out loud, “Tell him, you stupid bastard, tell him....”

Remy growled.   

"That was what ya came in ta hear, wasn't it?" Creed asked the growling Remy.

"Dat was de only reason?" he asked in disbelief.

Victor sighed, putting his arms down after hearing Logan grumbling outside.  So Logan was listening in.  "No," he said.

Swallowing hard, Logan thought, If you let me down, Creed, you're in for a world of hurt.

That made Remy's heartbeat pick up and Creed looked at Remy sideways.  "Ya reminded me o' Logan... the way ya fought....  it was like I got ta hold him again... but I couldn't let you think that, could I?  So I bit you," he explained.

"You bit a piece out of me, Creed!"                         

"Which kept ya from confusin' it with a love bite, didn't it?"

Sagging a little against the wall, Logan was completely shocked.

Remy got up.  "Fine," he said curtly and was on his way out.                   

"What—yer not stayin'?  You don't wanna see if I can be a good lover?"  Remy turned and charged a section of Creed's skin on the spot where he had bitten out of Remy and let it blow.  Creed howled in pain as Remy walked out the door to the main hall.

"I'm finished," he said to Logan as he passed him in the hall.  He figured Logan would want to go check on his sick former lover and he wasn't going to wait for him.

 Logan had been waiting for Remy on the other side, and when he saw him, muttered, “That...  That sounded a lot worse than when he told me....”  Oh, fuck it, Creed can heal his damn self, he thought shortly and followed after Remy.

Remy was pleased that Logan followed him instead of going in to see Creed.  "What did he tell you?"

“Same thing...  Only nicer...  He said he liked yer fire...  Yer personality...  Wanted ta have ya....”  Logan wished he would slow the fuck down.  “Told me that after ya passed out he held ya for a while ‘til ya healed.”

Remy stopped in his tracks.  He remembered waking up in Creed's arms and wondering why he was there....  He hadn't felt that at all.  He hadn't had his shields open, either, but that was for self defense.  He knew what kind of a creep Creed was and didn't want to be exposed to his deep dark emotions.

“..... I think if he wasn't as twisted an’ fucked up as he was, he woulda loved ya….” like I do now, he finished to himself.

"Don't say dat," Remy hissed.

Swallowing Logan nodded, but he thought he knew Creed well enough to say that it was a damn good possibility.  “Remy....”  Logan asked before Remy could start walking again.  “What'd ya mean when ya said he took a chunk outta ya?”

Remy bowed his head.  "He... ate a piece o' my shoulder.... when he... finished," he said, his voice full of shame.

Feeling gore rise up, Logan asked unsteadily, “He... he a—“ feeling a bit dizzy with rage and disgust, he stumbled but continued, “he ate a piece of you!?”

"Like he said, weren't any scars," he said quietly.  But it hurt like hell.

Giving off a little roar, Logan turned on his heel to go tear Creed's heart out, then realized he couldn’t leave Remy in the hall, so turned back to him and took his hand.  They headed back out to the boathouse.  “Deal with him later….  If it's any consolation, that probably means he really liked ya.”  He knew it wasn't any consolation, and was still mad as hell, probably hot to the touch.  Then again, to a fucked up mind, eating a chunk off of someone was probably a pretty big compliment.  It wasn't much of a consolation to Remy, but he smiled that Logan would try to cheer him up.  He hugged Logan as they walked.  He still wasn't in a good mood, but he was comforted that he had such a good lover.

"Probably where de proposition came from on de way out?" he asked.

As soon as they got into the boathouse, Logan wrapped his arms around Remy and pressed his face into Remy’s shoulder, wanting so badly to make him feel better.  He wanted to rub and nuzzle and cuddle away all his hurts and insecurities.  “Maybe.  ’d kill him if he touched ya, though.”

Remy sighed and stepped over to the couch and sat, holding Logan's hand, hoping he'd join him.  Doing so, Logan pulled Remy into his lap.  “I was a shit ta even suggest ya go talk ta him....”  He felt like such a fucking bad boyfriend.

"Non, Logan... it... made me see why he did dat.  I tink it did give me a little bit o' understandin'... maybe some closure."  He snuggled into Logan's grasp though.

Sighing into Remy’s hair, he said, “If ya say so, darlin’,” stroking his back and shoulders, not knowing what to do for him.

"Logan... do you tink... Piotr's gon' be okay?" he asked uneasily, kind of out of the blue.  He wanted to get away from the subject of Creed since it seemed to be finished.  He also wanted to avoid an awkward silence.

Sighing into his hair, Logan said, “Pete's changed a lot since he's come back... I don't know him anymore.”

"What... changed?" Remy asked.

Shrugging, he tried to explain, “He's just... He seems a lot angrier.... I suppose he has reason ta be angry, though.”

Remy thought about that and wondered why he was suddenly looking to Remy for... gratification. "I meant, do y' tink he's hurt?"

“Hurt? About today?”

"Logan—y' scratched 'im pretty deeply..." he said, hoping that Logan remembered doing it.

“Oh...” he said lowering his eyes.  “That kind a hurt... Well... I've never hurt Pete in the past when he had his metal up... Wasn't like I was trying to kill ‘im er anything...”  Logan was lying, and scary though it was, he was trying to kill him...  He went a bit berserker.

"I didn' tink y' were tryin' ta kill 'im, cher... not really," although he had been scared for Peter's life for a moment and would have really been afraid for him had he been vulnerable.

Sighing, Logan said, “I really don't know, Remy.”  He was a little shamefaced.  “You know I get a bit... mad sometimes.”  Mad in every sense of the word.  “Maybe... Maybe I should call up Hank, make sure he's okay, huh?”

"Why don' we bot' go down an see 'im? Maybe apologize? Or do you tink dat's a bad idea right now?"

Feeling his ire rise at the thought of him, Logan said, “... I don't think me goin’ would be such a good idea... But....” he swallowed, putting his absolute trust in him.  “He'd probably like ta see you.”

Remy nodded. "D'accord, Logan. I'll make sure ta tell 'im dat y' sorry," he said and kissed Logan deeply before heading for the door. "I'll be back soon, oui?"

Nodding a little, Logan swallowed and watched him go, and was probably going to go check on Creed in a moment.

Remy walked into the Medical Lab and looked around for Hank or Peter.  The injured Peter was actually on a Med Lab bed, still mostly metal, planning on slowly changing back so he didn't bleed to death.  Seeing Peter, Remy grimaced at him. "Hey... you doin' all right?" he asked gingerly. He didn't know whether or not Peter would lash out at him.

Looking up, Peter went metal all the way, much to Hank's distress and averted his eyes from him.  “Hello, Remy.”

Hank padded off, and was going to have to help him heal when he was less distracted.  As long as Piotr was metal, he would be fine.

"I jus'... wanned t' see if you were okay... an' maybe talk when y' feelin' up to it."

Still staring determinedly ahead, Peter asked, “What is there you wish for me to say?”

"I didn' wan' t' hear anythin'... more wanted t' say I'm sorry. Logan said he was sorry, too."  Remy was trying to think of a solution and debated giving him the DVD he so recently came by, but wasn't sure that would really help.

Peter had a hard time believing that Logan was in any way remorseful, but lowered his eyes a little.  “I suppose he told you....”

"Oui, he did." Remy checked to make sure Hank was out of ear shot.  He was, as the man believed very much in privacy.

Swallowing, Peter whispered, “I am very sorry, Remy... I never intended... I never....”  I never wanted you to know how I felt about you.

"I know 'bout dose 'never intended' sentiments," he said with a charming smile. "Had a couple o' dose moments recently," he smirked thinking about Lili.  "Look, Peter... I would hate f' dis t' get in de way of a friendship... if y' still want one...." Given the circumstances, he wasn't sure if he would.

A little choked up, Peter managed to stutter out, “How could you stand to be my friend now?”

Remy smiled at him. "Peter... people can be friends even dough dey're attracted to each oder.  Dey jus' have ta keep demselves under control. Peter—what y' do in y' spare time an' who y' fantasize about is your business. Jus' don' let it enter public places an' tings should be fine. It's not like I can keep y' from feelin' a certain way." As he said that, he was also thinking about Creed and a shiver crawled up his spine.

Peter did not miss the phrase 'attracted to each other' and cleared his throat asking quietly, “Remy... Are you attracted to me?”

Smile becoming a little shy Remy he cleared his throat. "Y' not a bad lookin' man by any means, Pete...." He looked up to catch his eyes, "But I love Logan. I'm not goin' ta leave him," he said resolutely. After he said that though, he looked back at the floor. He was embarrassed and didn't want to have to see Peter's reaction.

Peter swallowed, knowing it was not his place to pry, but Remy looked so sad and he said very gently, “.... having problems?”

Remy shook his head. "Tings outside of Logan an' I are gettin' in de way," he explained.

Nodding, he said softly, “Creed.”

Squinting at him Remy asked, "How did you know?" this close to accusatorily.

Softly, apologetically, he said, “Everyone knows, Remy. At least the staff does.”

Feeling like the breath was sucked from him Remy could only stare past Peter. They all knew that Logan loved Creed?? He looked away from Peter’s direction and backed up to lean against the wall. How do dey know? What must dey be tinkin'? Logan's not like dat monster!

Swinging his feet over the bed, Peter rose and walked over to Remy carefully, hands out palm-up. Wanting to convince Peter that Logan wasn't like that raping criminal, Remy was interrupted before he could get anything out by Peter.

“Remy... I pass no judgment....”  He did use the knowledge however to provoke Remy’s boyfriend.

"Y' must tink I'm a fool," he whispered emphatically.

“No. I certainly do not.”  He pulled Remy to his metal frame and held him delicately.  “You are in love.” and love is blind.

"Peter..." so are y', he said to Peter in his thoughts, knowing they would never reach the big man. The large arms felt comforting around his waist, but as soon as his skin touched the metal of Peter's chest, he started out of his grasp. Remy started to feel sick and looked at the floor again. "I'm sorry, Peter..." I didn' mean t' offend y'.

Jerking when Remy jumped, Peter was incredibly embarrassed, and immediately went back to the bed, fumbling to explain.  “I... I cannot go back to flesh... my wounds would bleed too terribly,” he said gesturing too much out of nervousness.  “I have to go slowly so we can stitch them together as soon as they become flesh.”

Remy cringed. "I'm really sorry 'bout dat, Peter..." Y' shouldda known dat wasn' de place for dat dough, he chided in his thoughts. Remy wished that there were something he could do for him and ached for his friend, but knew there was nothing he could do... that he was willing to.

Swallowing, Peter asked, “Does Logan know you are here?”

"Oui. He wanted me t' say he was sorry for him," he explained. He didn't mention why he didn't come himself.  "I wanted t' apologize f' some o' de tings I said, too," Remy said with a note of shame in his voice.

Nodding, Peter said, “Well... He must be missing you.”  You should leave and let me lick my wounds.

Shaking his head, Remy explained, "He left when I did. I needed t' say I'm sorry f' sayin'... dat y' weren't wort it, Peter. I was mad at bot' of you at de time...." I didn't mean y' weren't worth anythin'... I jus' didn' wanna see y' hurt-- or killed.

Peter was going to cry, and thought Remy had better leave.  “Thank you, Remy. I should get back to trying to heal, now.

Nodding Remy turned to leave. He was really sorry for hurting Peter... but what could he have done? It wasn't like he wanted the man to fall in love with him!  He headed for the Danger Room to clean up his mess.

Trying to be big and tough when Hank came back in Piotr ended up crying on him a little.

 

 

Entering the Detention Block, Logan stared at Creed until he noticed Logan.  Victor noticed Logan pretty quickly. "Hey, runt. How's the kid?" he asked conversationally.

Licking his teeth, Logan’s growl started out low and escalated into a roar.  “You ate… a chunk... out of my lover?!”

Victor shrugged. "It was a long time ago. The kid was bein' a smart-ass, so I had ta teach 'im a lesson." He really was wondering how Remy reacted to him telling him basically that he hadn't hated him.  "You gonna come in here an' kick my ass for it?" he taunted.

“So you ate a bit of him!? Creed, that is fucked up!!”  He paced around the room, angry, kicking a folding chair hard at Creed’s cage.  “WHAT THE FUCK'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!? Nobody eats people during sex!! And—“ he really did want to kick his ass.

"I told 'im the truth—I couldn' have him thinkin' it was some love-bite." It might have had him coming back for more and he didn't want to replace Logan.  "He tasted good though. You ever catch that delicious scent of his blood?"  Creed licked his lips to illustrate his opinion of the boy's tastiness.

Baring his teeth at him, Logan growled, “Go ta hell, Creed.”  He was so pissed off at him Logan was nearly foaming at the mouth.  “You're not getting’ near him again, ya hear me!? You damage everythin’ ya touch!!”

"That's true," he admitted. He was going stir crazy in the little cell and so was caring less and less about what Logan thought of him. "But yer tellin' me ya wouldn't want a threesome? Just the sight of that lovely ass makes me wanna fcuk 'im int' the wall," he cooed, adjusting himself lewdly in front of Logan.

“You can just ROT in here, you sick bastard!”  Turning on his heel, Logan threw back, “See ya in a week. Hope they remember ta feed ya.”  He kicked the chair out of his way again on his way out.

"Well, guess it's time fer masturbation," he joked to himself and started imagining Logan and Remy as bread slices to a threesome sandwich. "Awe, yeah," he moaned. He was stuck in between them and they were all wild with abandon, licking and biting to draw blood, but all healing immediately after.

 

Remy ran into Logan in the hall. "Hey, cher..." he said and stopped. He didn't know what to say though.  He was feeling a little guilty for letting Pete hold him.  Looking uncertainly at Logan, he felt the tug of anger at the corners of his mind emanating from Logan.

Chomping the end off of a cigar, Logan spat it out, and grabbed Remy around the waist and dragged him outside.  Lighting it up and taking a long, mean drag, Logan was obviously hot under the collar.

"Creed bein' a crazy fuck again?" he asked.

“Yep....”  Marching fast to the boathouse, Logan didn’t want to be inside there, either, so headed out for the dock, taking Remy with him.  Stopping, Logan turned to look at him, pointing his cigar at him.  “You don't go anywhere near him, got it?”  Remy nodded jerkily. He wasn't planning on going to see the creep, but made a mental note that Logan didn't want him near him.  Shaking his head, Logan said, “I don't know what he's got planned, but he's definitely getting’ under my skin.”  Marching around on the dock, Logan’s paces were uncomfortable.

"It's... worse dan normal, isn't it? He gettin' worse?" he asked, worriedly, but only worried for Logan.

Logan’s chest heaved.  “Yeah... He's goin’ stir crazy.”  He knew he would go nuts if he couldn't run and hunt and fuck or hold the one he loved.

Pursing his lips, Remy nodded. "Y' tink we should do somethin' 'bout it before it gets any worse? I mean... we can' keep him in dere f'ever. Somethin's gon’ happen eventually an' he'll get out. I say it's better dat we do somethin' decisive ta get him outta here so he don' hurt anybody.  Logan... I tink it might be best ta turn 'im over t' de Feds...." although he knew that what would be waiting for him there was only imminent execution or more experimentation. On the other hand, he did deserve it... but then Remy did too....  Actually feeling pretty torn about that point that Creed made, Remy tried not to let the guilt swallow him.

“NO!”  He... didn't mean to bark that badly, and took a deep breath to calm down.  “No... That's... we can't do that... They'll kill him....”

"Logan... what else can we do?" he asked.

“He...” Logan swallowed, pacing.  “Maybe if we lettim in the Danger Room... Let him get his aggression out... Lettim....” he almost smirked a bit. “Use one a Hank's sex simulations.”  Yes, although it went unmentioned, they all knew Hank has sex simulations in there.

"Logan... how long do y' tink it'll be before he figures a way out? He's gon' resent y' more an' more every day f' keepin' him in dere. If y' gonna... placate him... y' might as well placate him all de way," he said, his voice tight with barely suppressed anger.  Maybe I should just leave Logan t' make dis easier on him... Dieu!

Finishing the cigar, Logan stamped it out viciously.  “The hell does that mean, Remy? Huh!?”

"It means, if y' want him around maybe you should start takin' care of 'im like he's a real person! Y' can't do dis half-way, Logan— it'll backfire on all of us!" he warned.

“A real person!? Remy, in case ya haven't noticed, Creed isn't a real fucking person!! He's a lunatic!! Y' want me ta treat him like a 'real' person an' let him out!? Yer nuts if ya think you'd be alive 15 minutes a’ him gettlin’ loose! Fuck no, I'm not lettin’ him out!!”

If he weren't a real person, Logan... y' wouldn't love him so much.  "Logan, I'm not suggestin' ya let 'im out. I'm sayin' dat you need t' decide what y' gonna do wit' him an' follow trough on it. If you're gonna try an' rehabilitate 'im, I won' stand in y' way, an' you should spend a hell of a lot more time wit' him dan y' been doin'. If y' not gonna give 'im rehab, den turn 'im over ta somebody who has de facilities to! He needs help, Logan—one way or anoder." Remy admitted that he was being pretty harsh, but he needed Logan to wake up and see that he wasn't getting anywhere with him.

Shaking his head, Logan said, “I don't know how ta rehabilitate nobody, Remy....”  Rubbing his forehead on his arm, he continued, “I don't... I don't wanna give him all the time an' attention he needs.”  I wanna spend it all on you!

"Den you gotta give him ta somebody else, Logan! We can talk to Emma t' see if we can get him committed t' a facility dat could handle him... but I ain' sure dere is one, y' know?"  Remy fidgeted and pulled out a pack of his cigarettes. He hadn't smoked in a while—he had gotten one in here and there the past few days, but now he felt the serious need for some calming nicotine.   He lit the end just by looking at it and started pacing.

Grumbling, Logan felt like there was an elephant sitting on him.  “There are none, Remy... Fuck.” He rubbed his hand over his face again in frustration.  “We looked. Just before he tore Betsy ta shreds, we were lookin’ for anything ta do with him... There's just nothin’... The government wants him dead, the X-Men want him dead, everybody wants him dead, Remy...” except me….

"Except f' you," he commented heavily.  "Seems t' me like if you de only one dat want him alive, you better take responsibility f' it."

Feeling entirely fucking crippled by this Logan’s heart was beating double time.  “Y' think I should have him killed?”

Remy puffed out a long shaky breath of smoke. "Cher, I ain' gonna say one way or d' other. You have ta decide dis f' y'self. I can’t tell you what you should do with your lover o' two fuckin' tousand years!" He admitted that he felt dwarfed in significance by that. He didn't want Logan resenting him for anything he might suggest. "You can only do what y' conscience tells y' ta do."

Shaking his head, he shouted, “Whaddam I supposed ta do!? I help him, I break yer heart! I stay with ya, Creed gets killed! There is no right answer! Either way I'm lettin’ one a ya down... I'm...” he shook his head, “Fuck....”

"Logan... maybe dis was supposed ta be from de start... y'd feel horrible if y' let Creed die..." He knew he would and he couldn't let that fall on his shoulders. "Maybe we should jus' call dis ting off before we get too deep...." he said, not knowing whether it was a suggestion or not.  He also didn’t know if they were in too deep already.  It would hurt him tremendously to let Logan go, but if it would make Logan feel better about his life and himself, then he would be willing to make that sacrifice.

Clenching his hands into fists, Logan demanded, “Yer not breakin’ up with me, Remy... Yer NOT! I've been in love with ya for fucking ever an I'm not breakin’ it off cause Creed needs ta get laid!”

"Creed needs a whole lot mroe dan ta get laid, Logan!  He needs somebody who is gonna care about him an' you're de only fuckin' person left in dis world who does!"

Logan was about to tear his hair out and roared, “I care about you Remy!! I want you, yer all I ever wanted!!”  His heart contracted painfully.

"Logan," Remy said as he threw his cigarette into the water, mostly smoked, and stepped over to grasp Logan's shoulders and look him in the eyes seriously. "I never said y' didn't. I would never imply dat your love was untrue, or faulty," he said gently. He had seen it too closely to think that. "I need y' to decide what you're gonna do." 'Cause he's gettin' in our way. "An' it needs t' be done soon," he said low.

Wrapping his arms around Remy’s waist, Logan pressed his face in Remy’s chest.  “Don't make me choose, Remy, don't make me choose...”  Trembling, he felt sick.

"Logan... you have to. Not jus' f' me... f' everyone." He was considering suggesting that he and Creed share Logan again... but he didn't think that would work. Remy would get too frustrated too quickly if his attentions were to be split.

Eyes tearing up, Logan shuddered a little.  “I love you Remy... Tell me what ta do... Tell me what ta do an' I'll do it.  I'll do whatever ya tell me....”  His face pressed into Remy’s shoulder, arms locked around his waist.

"Logan, I can't tell y' what t' do! I told y'. You tink I wanna be responsible f' de life of a man y' loved f' millenia?" Remy held Logan tightly. He sighed and opened his shields to Logan and joined him in his mind. "Would y' be able to live without Victor?" he asked, using his name on purpose, to get the most pure emotional reaction.

Struck by that, on several levels, Logan wheezed, “No...”  But if you asked me the same about you, I’d react pretty much the same... if not stronger.

"Den... I have ta leave, Logan," he said softly and stepped away from Logan.  He could feel the strong emotional ripples in his mind.  Remy felt the tremendous heartache, the shattering inside Logan as Remy back away.  He backed away from his mind as he left… and somehow it made the departure all the more real.  

“Remy... Remy, don't....”  Tears streamed down his cheeks.  He wasn’t going to be able to withstand this.

Remy's gut felt like a knife had been slid into it and he covered his mouth and clenched his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Logan," he said and fled to the mansion to grab his bike and head out. He couldn't stay, even with his shields closed.  He could still feel Logan….

Having a difficult time breathing, Logan couldn’t see past the tears, and tore into the mansion in a blind fury, ripping into Creeds cell, and tearing him to shreds.  Little chunks of him splattered the walls, screaming and snarling, “ARE YOU HAPPY!? YOU WORTHLESS, PATHETIC CUNT, ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?!”  He was not being very careful with where he sent his claws, even cutting into himself occasionally—Logan just wanted blood.

Creed fought back, viciously— he wasn't going to sit there and take it.  Pieces of him healed and were ripped into again, but he ripped into Logan just as badly.  The rage of devastating heartbreak at his back, Logan didn’t even feel the gashes that tore through his chest and split his eye.  Uncoordinatedly, Logan tried to find some possible way to kill him.  Creed felt betrayed again and was emotionally charged as well. He tossed Logan all across the room as they fought.

Cyclops stormed into the room and red hit both of them until they were knocked out.  Both concussed they lay out like lights on the floor.  Lying on the floor, guts all over and his head spinning, it was a bit of a relief to be distracted by physical pain before Logan was gone as opposed to emotional pain.  Scott went into the cell and dragged Logan out of there and stuck him in a different holding cell, adjacent to Creed’s and he waited outside the cell for Logan to wake up after making sure Creeds was also locked securely.

Waking up about an hour and a half later, Logan blinked and groaned painfully.  “.... Remy...?

"No, nobody's seen him in hours. What the hell were you trying to do?"  Scott was pissed.  He had found the door unlocked.

“Shit...” Logan said trying to lift himself off the floor.  “Where's Remy...?”

"Emma can’t find him," he said. "He took off like a bat out of hell two hours ago. He hasn't been back since.  What were you trying to do?" he asked again.

Weakly, Logan spat out, “Find him...”  Getting up like he was going to go find him, Logan walked right into the bars, his vision not having cleared yet.  He almost crashed back on the floor.  “Ehgn?”

"Not until you tell me what you were doing in Creed's cell, Logan. He could have gotten out."

“Was... Gonna kill him....” he realized dazedly that that was just what he was trying to avoid… that's why he lost Remy.... Oh, God, I lost Remy....  He deflated, unable to hold himself up under the weight of that.  “Oh, God....”

"There are more effective ways of doing that, Logan. You should have told us that's what you decided. I'll have Emma find Remy and get him back here," he said, closing his eyes and contacting Emma telepathically on his way out to prepare.

Racing to the bars, Logan reached out to grab him.  “NO! NO, don't kill him....”

An eyebrow raised over his visor and Scott said slowly, "Ookay." He was caught in Logan's grasp and gently pulled out of it. "I won't kill him. I'll see if Emma can get Remy back here," he said. It sounded like he was essential to solving the situation.

“Hey!” Logan grabbed Scott’s shirt again.  “When ya find him... Tell ‘im I love him, yeah? More'n anything?”

Scott smiled slowly. "I'll have him come down here so you can tell him yourself," he said and slowly detached himself from Logan's grasp, stepping away this time. He didn't need to be grabbed in order to get his attention caught.

“HEY! Ya gonna just leave me in here!? Lemme out, bub! An' where's Creed?”

"Creed's in his cell, and you're going to stay in here to cool off. You won't miss him, I promise."

Snarling, “Slim, lemme out! I'm cool. I need ta talk to him... Won't go in his cell....” he mocked him, “I promise.”

"I'll let you back out in an hour, Logan. Cool it until then," and he walked away.

Roaring at Scott in his absence, Logan snarled mightily, then went to work on the lock.  He knew Remy had found a way to make every cell in here spring-able.  Slim ignored Logan.  Working viciously to get the lock open, Logan jammed his claws in there, finally picking up a whiff of Creed.  He went still.  “....... Creed?”

"What??!" he shouted.

Wincing, he asked, “How long you been awake?”

"Just woke up, ya crazy little shit!"

Grinning, Logan was extremely satisfied that he woke up before him.  I WIN!  He went back to working on the lock, and started growling in frustration again after a few seconds.  Creed was beat up more than Logan was...  Still, it's the little victories.  He was a boy, he didn’t care if it was a fair fight.  Stopping again after a little while, Logan felt moderately guilty.  “.... y' all right?”

"Now," he shouted. "What's yer fuckin' problem anyway?" he shouted, annoyed.

Swallowing, Logan sat back on his heels by the door, trying to not sound vulnerable.  “Remy left me.”  After the words left his mouth Logan felt very vulnerable, though, all that pain was still right there.

Creed snorted.

Snarling viciously at that, “BURN IN HELL!” Logan started slashing ineffectively at the lock, still a bit weak, and soon sat back down, huffing and whimpering a little to hold back the sobs.  Logan hoped Creed couldn’t smell the tears.

"I would if you'd fuckin' send me there! What, ya didn't have the balls ta finish it this time!?"

Clanging his claws against the bars again, Logan roared, “HE LEFT SO I COULD HELP YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL PRICK!!! HE LEFT SO WE WOULD BE TAGETHER!!”

Victor was taken aback. He was speechless actually.  "He.... why?!" he shouted.

Huffing hard, Logan rubbed his arm across his eyes to get rid of the tears then slumped against the wall, emotionally and physically exhausted.  “.... Cause he's a damn good kid.”  He loved him to death.

"And you were gonna kill me because he decided ta jump ship?"

Realizing it didn’t make any sense, yeah, Logan knew that.  His voice creaked with the effort to keep from sobbing.  “..... yeah.”

Creed shook his head. "So, where does that leave us now?"

Swallowing, Logan said, “..... If I let you outta here would you go nuts and start killin’ people?”

"That depends," he growled.

“On?”

"Whether or not you were comin' with me."

“.... An if I was?”

"We could live— just the two of us... up in the mountains."

“No.”  Maybe he had lost Remy for him, unbearable as that was, but he was not going to give up the X-Men as well.  “Was thinkin’... Maybe you'd show me where Anchius is buried....” for now...

"Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah, I'll show you."

Silent for a moment, Logan clarified, “I wanna come back here, though. This is my home.”

Creed looked at the floor in his cell. "I'd like ta get better, Logan..." He wanted to be able to come back here with him and not be locked up or hunted. "Maybe... we could try together... would ya help me?"

Bowing his head, he thought, that's the whole reason I can't have Remy anymore— to help you. “Yeah... I'll try.”  Hanging his head between his knees, Logan’s heart still ached on a profound level.  Creed felt relieved and wanted to get out of there.

But he told himself firmly to wait.

Still brushing away tears with his whole hand, Logan wanted out of there, too...  He wanted to be back at the boathouse with Remy, but he couldn’t have that anymore... Nope, I have to be a bloody martyr.  He smiled weakly at the idea of 'Saint Logan'.

Scott was back in a few minutes despite what he had said earlier.  He had news. "Logan, Remy's refused to come back.... I'm sorry."

Looking up sharply, Logan shouted, “What!?! Why!?”

"He didn't give Emma any details. I don't know."

“Wh….”  He was flustered and upset by this.  “Didja tell him I love him?”  I'll just hit you if you didn't....

"Emma did... but he just got upset and cut her off."

Closing his eyes, Logan rested his head against the bars.  “Didn't mean ta kick him out....”  Quite the opposite, Logan wanted him safely there.

"You kicked him out? What right did you have?" Scott asked angrily.

“I didn’t kick him out!”   He was pretty volatile at the moment.  “He just left! Look!”  Logan sighed, running his fingers through his hair.  “He don' wanna see me, so I ain't gonna be here! Lemme out so Remy c'n come home!”

Scott nodded and opened Logan's cell. "Okay, Logan.”

Getting out of there fast, Logan hated being confined.  “An' I'm takin’ Creed with me...” he said like an older brother who had to look after a younger sibling.

"Logan... I'll let you take him, but... let me take the students out first," he said with a hand on Logan's shoulder. He didn't know what he planned to do with Creed, but he trusted that he had a plan.

Nodding curtly, Logan said, “Just lemme know when yer done.”  He waited for Scott to leave before slowly walking over to Creed's cell.

Victor looked up at Logan and waited. "Logan...." I'm sorry, love...

Crossing his arms, Logan looked like hell, his eyes bloodshot from the crying.  “What?”

"I... I'm gonna try..." he promised.

Unable to look at him, he said, “Yeah.”  That doesn't get me Remy back, though….

Creed was really sorry that Remy left... although, he was kind of glad that he got this chance. He was still very surprised that Remy would do that for them.  Staying quiet, Logan waited until Scott gave the ok.  It was half an hour later when Scott came down. "They're all gone. I'll escort you out," he said. "Creed," he turned to him, "I don't ever wan to see your face near this school again."

Rolling his eyes, Logan said, “C'mon...” and went up the elevator, still silent and not looking at anyone.  He only stopped at the bottom of the staircase.  “Hold on a second.”  Racing up the stairs to Remy's old room Logan found his broken sword.  Delicately taking it Logan vowed to not return until it was fixed as good as new... then came downstairs again and kept moving to the car.  The mansion was mostly empty and Creed had to clench his fists tightly in order to keep himself from lashing out at the X-Men that were left.

Logan finally cast Victor a concerned glance before abandoning Cyke at the garage.  “See ya round, Slim,” he said and took his keys out and went to his jeep, taking Creed's wrist in case his last instinct was to take Scott's head off.  Creed held Logan's hand for comfort. He could get through this if he just held onto Logan.  He sat in the jeep and waited for Logan.

Almost smirking because, hey, that was kinda cute Logan let go of Creed’s hand to get into the car, starting it up and backing out.  He was completely silent.  Creed looked at Logan and was relieved to be heading away from his prison.

Driving toward the wharfs Logan didn’t want to be on a plane.  The safest route for them was to get to Europe by water.  Victor sighed and relaxed into his seat.  "Thank you, Logan," he said sincerely and tried to nod off.  Driving several hours in silence to the docks, Logan was having a hard time keeping the tears at bay, but did because he was driving.

 

 

Emma sat in Cerebra and reached out to Remy.  "They're gone now.  You can come home."

Remy turned around and headed back for the mansion at top speed and was there in an hour.  He missed Logan completely and ran straight up to Peter's room.  He pounded on the door desperately.  Gingerly Peter went to the door, his torso wrapped in bandages, some of them already a little stained, and was shocked to see Remy in his doorway.  “.... Remy?”

"Peter," he said with sad eyes, looking up at him.  "Can I... talk t' you?" he asked contritely.  He ignored his first instinct to throw himself into Peter's arms and search for comfort.

A little baffled, Peter said, “Of… Of course, Remy....” and stepped aside to let him come in, then gingerly moved back to the bed and laid down, trying to not upset  his wounds.  Peter had finally made it back to his fleshy form.

Looking at his wounds Remy said, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean t' disturb you while y' healin'."

Smiling shyly, he said, “I have only been lying in bed, bored out of my skull.  It will be nice to have company.”

Remy smiled wanly and nodded.  "I'm glad.  Does it... hurt...?" he asked, cringing.  He hated that he was the cause of his wounds.

Gently, Peter said, “No.  They only itch occasionally.”  Peter could see something was troubling him and had a pretty good guess as to what it was, but let Remy take his time.

Remy nodded, glad to hear that it wasn't too bad.  "I'm... gon' be movin' back int' de mansion," he informed him... and he didn’t really know why.  It wasn't like he needed to know.... but he probably did care.

Nodding, Peter said, “We have missed you.”  He was going to be very, very careful which words he used with him.

"I don' really need t' be out dere any more," he said, feeling the need to explain himself to Peter.

Folding his hands together, Peter said gently, “I trust there has been some upset between you and Logan?”  Wincing, he realized 'I trust' were the wrong words to use.

Remy's frown deepened.  "Logan's not dere any more."

Shifting, Peter didn’t know how Remy wanted him to behave.  “Is... is everything all right, Remy?”

Shaking his head, Remy said, "I miss him already," he whispered, and even in whispering he couldn't keep his voice from cracking.

Gently reaching out and touching his hand, Peter asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

"I jus'... need a friend right now, Peter... an' I know dat dis is... kind of a sensitive subject 'tween us....  Do you mind?" he asked tentatively.

Not if you don’t mind my heart breaking all over the place, “No, of course not.”

"He... left... wit' Sabertooth."  He knew that he might actually be dropping a bomb since Peter didn't seem to know about it, and he braced himself for Peter's reaction.

Trying to not show any reaction, Peter did swallow a little.  “I am sorry...  Did he tell you he was going to do this?”

"He didn'... I had t' leave..." Remy explained.  "He kept waiverin' on what t' do 'bout Creed an' he was gettin' worse.  I mean—"  Remy realized that he wasn't making much sense.  "I told Logan he had t' eider give Creed up to de state or take care o' him himself.  It was de only humane ting ta do... he couldn't give Creed up— so I left."

“That must have been a very difficult decision for him.”  Peter couldn't imagine what must've been so strong for him to give you up….  If I had you I'd never leave you.

Feeling like that was an understatement, Remy just nodded.  "Dey were t'geder a long time..." he explained, his eyes welling up.

Peter would have tried to hold him, but remembered what happened last time.  “I think Logan truly loved you.”

"Oui.  I know he did.  But he had t' do dis.  It was best f' him ta do dis."  It actually made him feel a little better that Logan would be pleased with himself for doing this.  He would have hated to have to console Logan through losing Creed.

Folding his fingers together, Peter didn’t know what to tell him.  “Will he be coming back?”

Shrugging, Remy said, "Don' know.  He has Creed ta deal wit' now," and that wasn't an easy task. 

Nodding, Peter twiddled his thumbs together, then patted the bed beside him.  “Would you like to sit with me?  Hank has been bringing me Buster Keaton movies to entertain me while I heal....”

Remy smiled.  "Buster who?"

Mock offended, Peter shouted, “Keaton!  The greatest American filmmaker!”

Remy closed Peter's door and went to sit beside him.  "Y' tellin' me de greatest filmmaker wasn' a Cajun?" he sounded mock-shocked, much the way Peter had.  He appreciated the levity.  And he smiled at the other time he had tried to find levity with Peter... and ended up dropping nearly a hundred feet into the snow. 

Shrugging, Peter said, “He could have been a Cajun.  I only know that he made excellent movies.”  Picking up the remote control Peter turned the television back on.  “I have been watching The General.  But you must see it from the beginning.”  He rewound the old VHS tape.

Waiving his hand, Remy said, "I'm jus' givin' you a hard time.  Can y' tell me what dis is about, or will dat spoil everythin'?" he asked.

“It is about a young man, Buster Keaton, who wishes to impress his lady love by entering the armed forces during the Civil war.  However,”  Peter said getting a little excited telling Remy about it, “because the North needs railway operators, which Keaton is, they will not enlist him.  So, he takes his train, The General, into enemy territory.  I won't tell you more, it would spoil it!”  Pressing 'play' when the tape is back at the beginning Peter settled down to watch the movie.

"Dis is gon' be 'bout some yank beatin' up on poor defenseless southerners, ain' it?" Remy growled.

Grinning, Peter said, “No.  It is about the southerners and the yanks beating on poor, defenseless Buster Keaton.”  He had the urge to put an arm around him, but was such a gentleman.

Smiling, Remy said, "Okay, Ruski.  Let's see dis Buster guy," and he settled in to watch the film, resting up against the headboard with Peter, shoulders just touching.  Becoming like a little boy watching Buster Keaton movies, Peter curled his toes happily at his favorite parts.  Peter was very pleased to have someone to share it with.  Remy laughed with Peter, happy that he was able to relax, even though he was still feeling horrible from losing Logan.  He looked at Peter during the film and hoped that they would become close friends. 

 

Nudging Creed when they get to the docks, Logan said, “Wakeup.”  He has spent a lot of time thinking while he was asleep, and noticed the sun should be going down soon.  Creed started awake and looked over to Logan.  "Hey.  Where are we?" he asked a little groggily.

“Docks.  C'mon.”  He reached in the back for the sword— the only luggage he had, and got out.  Creed followed Logan out of the car.

"We're goin' by boat?"

“Yeah.”  He started going up to Mariners, asking if they were looking for two able bodied seamen.  Victor followed Logan, but let him do all the talking.  Finally, Logan got them a ride in the hull of the ship, for $50 to Portugal, and turned back to him.  “We leave in half an hour....” and leaned against one of the posts of the pier, looking out across the ocean.  Victor nodded.

"What cha thinkin' about?" he asked gently.

Remy.  “Nothin’.”  Going to the jeep Logan got his cowboy hat, because he loved that damn thing, and came back, still not looking at Victor.

Creed could tell that Logan would take a while to warm up to him at all.  Uncurling when they started shipping, Logan helped lifting large, awkward crates easily, sometimes two at a time to hurry up the process.  He could tell the other sea-farers were impressed, but didn’t pay them any mind.  Creed liked the heavy work and was relieved to get some exercise.  He had done workouts in his cell, but it just wasn't the same.

Taking half the time it would usually take to load because of Creed and Logan, he blew off everyone who tried to buy them on the ship full-time, and made his way to the hull where there were only two little cots.  “Looks like we're gonna be caged up again....”  They had put them into a place that was actually a storage area as opposed to regular quarters with the crew, but Creed was okay with that.  It meant that they would actually get some privacy, which was rare on ships.

"We gonna have work around the ship along the way?" he asked.

“Well, probably a little...  Not much.”  He tossed Remy's sword onto the top bunk.  Victor looked at the sword.  "What's that?" he asked.  He wasn't too upset about having to be cooped up if he was with Logan.

“Nothin’.”  Don't ask.  Going and opening up the tiny porthole, he could see the blue all around, and suddenly wished he could see more.

Creed wanted to take a look at the sword because it looked old and valuable, but resisted.  As much as Logan claimed that it was nothing, he wouldn't have taken it with them had it been worthless.  "I tell ya about Fernão?" he asked.

“No.”  Walking around, Logan made sure all the boxes and canisters were secured so they didn’t get crushed in the night.

"These guys'd be catchin' flies with their mouths if they knew we sailed with Ferdinand Magellan," he smirked.  He hoped to start a conversation and get Logan's mind off of Remy and what ever else was bothering him.

Grumbling, Logan said, “Either wouldn't believe us, or they'd kill us fer bein’ freaks...”  He muttered, “Probably kill us fer just bein’ fags....”  Folding his arms atop one of the boxes, Logan rested his face on them, closing his eyes.  He couldn’t stop thinking about Remy.

Creed sighed and decided that Logan just didn’t' want to talk.  He had only ever acted like that when Anchuis died.  He was grieving and Victor would have to leave him alone.  Last time, he had to leave Logan alone for a week, then he would only start talking to him briefly, and he was sad for years afterward.

 

 

Grinning madly at the ending credits, Peter asked, “Did you like it!?”

Remy smiled at Peter.  "De Yank's still beat up on de sout'," Remy pouted.

“Cannot change history, I'm afraid!” he said, ejecting the tape and getting up to put it back in its sleeve.

Shrugging, Remy’s smile was a charming one.  "Still it was a fun story.  What else y' got?" he asked, not moving from Peter's bed.

“More Buster Keaton!!  Sherlock Jr.,  the Scarecrow, Our Hospitality, Electric House, Three Ages....  Hank has lent me the whole collection!”  He held up all the VHS for Remy to see.

Remy raised his eyebrows at that.  "We'll be here f' hours if we watch all dat.  What has y’ so fascinated wit' dis Keaton guy anyway?"  Remy thought that it had been a great movie, but he didn't understand the fervor Pete seemed to have for it.

“And it will take even longer for me to heal!” he smiled.  “You know the only person who could make Buster Keaton smile was Fatty Arbuckle?”  He took out The Saphead, and put it in the machine.  “And not just laugh, he would roll around on the floor, close to tears.”  Carefully, Peter crawled into bed with Remy, not wanting to upset his wounds.  “Someone so funny who only laughed for one person.  I find it strange.”

"Maybe de rest of de world just wasn'... interrestin'..." he mused kind of sadly.

“Oh, I suspect he found the world interesting.  And I suspect that he understood it well.  And that's what made him so funny.”  Smiling at Remy, he asked, “Are you feeling better, comrade?”

"A little," he said.  He still had an ache in his chest, but was distracted by Peter.

Wishing there was something encouraging he could say, Peter decided he could only distract him.  “After this I should change my bandages...  They are starting to itch...” and they were getting a bit bloody.

"Lemme do dat for you," Remy offered.

Smiling, Peter said, “You are very kind, but I can manage it myself.  I would not wish to make you uncomfortable.”  Peter was actually very surprised that Remy came to him of all people.

"Oh... all right," he said, looking at Peter's floor.  He just wanted to keep busy.  He wanted to make a gesture to Peter... that he cared about him.  Not as a lover, but as a friend.

“Remy...” he asked his hands fiddling with the bedspread.  “Why did you come to me?  I am not your closest friend.”  In fact I thought you'd be a little freaked out and disgusted by me.

"I..."  Remy shrugged.  "Y' were de first person dat came t' mind...  An'... we talked... I— tought we were friends...."

Softly, Peter said, “We are friends, Remy.  I just did not think you were....” he shrugged, “Comfortable with me after what happened.”

"Peter... I told y' dat it's okay.  As long as y' okay wit' me... I'm okay wit' you."

“Of course I'm okay, Remy….”  He didn’t want to scare him off.  “Are you up for another movie?”

"Oui," Remy said with a smile, grateful for another distraction. 

Pressing play, Peter wondered what it would be like to put an arm around Remy and hold him a little bit.

 

 

Finally moving again, Logan looked over at Victor.  “You've been good.” He said almost wishing he had a doggie treat to throw him.

Victor snorted softly.  "Thanks," I guess.  Victor really just wanted to be normal with Logan.  Talk to him, hold him, but he knew that it was still too soon for that.  He would have to wait longer for Logan to accept him.

Nodding, he said, “I'm goin’ up top.  You can... come along if ya want...”  It was awkward with Creed.  Logan tried to not be resentful with him but that was sort of hard considering what had happened.  He needed to get out of this cellar, though, and he made for the deck.

Not sure whether or not to take that invitation or not, Victor he eventually couldn't resist.  "Sure," and went up top with Logan, trailing behind him, not getting too close. He knew how to behave when others were watching.

Grinning a little when the wind hit his face, it was a cleansing feeling, and Logan walked over to the railing and looked at the ocean below.  “I'm a shitty swimmer.”

"Good thing this is salt water, I tell ya.”  Not that it would help all that much.  “We never had that little problem before the war, but... no changin' that now."

“The war?  Whatt're you talkin’ about?”

"That's when they took us," he explained.  "WWII."

Nodding slowly, Logan said, “Yeah...  I just sink like a fuckin' brick.”  He had a little bit of a fear about suffocating, and looked up at Victor.  “Ya remember when ya held me under water, that one time in Canada?”  You were trying to kill me if I remember correctly.

"Yeah," he choked out in a whisper.

“Thought I was gonna die, then...”  He smirked a little at the thought of their relationship and how fucked up it had been.  “So, what've you been doin' these last 50 years when ya weren't busy tryin’ t' kill me?”

"Odd jobs," he said, remembering some of the jobs he took when he ran into Remy.  In Paris and... in Manhattan.

“Tell me about um.  Heard ya were an assassin fer a while, there.”

"You were too," he said darkly.  You can't be all high and mighty on me, ya know.

Shrugging, Logan said, “Wasn't passin’ any judgment.”  He was a bit too emotionally drained to really make too many stabs at him.

"I was a bunch o' things."

Looking up at him under the brim of his cowboy hat, Logan asked, “Why ya bein’ so shy?  Why won't ya tell me?  Y' embarrassed?”

"Been a thief, an assassin.  Mercenary."  He looked at Logan.  "Lived up in the mountains fer a couple a years, just livin' off the land."

Pulling out a cigar, Logan nodded.  “Sounds nice.  You ever fall in love?”

Victor nodded.  "Her name was Bonnie."  He had had a relationship with Raven too, but he hadn't loved her.  He had loved Bonnie when he felt Logan furthest from him.

“Yeah?”  He shifted, leaning back against the railing.  “What happened t' her?”

"She died…." 

Huffing, Logan muttered a little, “Big surprise there.”  Okay, he was being a little mean there.

"She was sick, Logan," he defended.

“Oh.”  He shut up, knowing how that was.  “Sorry t' hear that....”  He looked at the cigar he was holding for a moment.  “If she were still alive, would ya have bothered with getting’ me back?”

"I don't know if I'd a been able ta move on.  Maybe fer a little while.  But she wouldda died anyway."  He turned to Logan.  "And I wouldda come lookin' fer ya then."

Nodding, Logan couldn’t help but be a little touched by that.  “Bonnie.  Sweet name.  How long ago was she?”

"Twelve years ago," he said solemnly.

“That's fresh. Must still smart, huh?”

"Yeah," he said, looking at the ocean.

Not as fresh as mine, though, he thought as he took a long drag off his cigar and handed it to Creed in case he wanted some.  Victor took a drag and let it out.  He handed it back to Logan.  Taking it from him, he murmured lowly, “Thanks...”  Looking around at some of the sailors who had heard tidbits of their conversation, Logan gave them the evil eye.

"I... I'm sorry about the kid," he said barely audible above the rush of the waves.

“No, y’ aren't,” he snapped at him, pretty sensitive about it.

Victor looked at him.  Yeah, I am. But he didn't contradict him verbally.

Grumbling at him, he said, “Sayin’ all that rancid shit ta me, what was I supposed ta think?”

"I didn't think I'd ever get outta that cell again, Logan."  I wanted you ta kill me.  I bet ya don't understand the kinda pain I was in watchin' you with him?  "I understand what ya think.  But I'm still sorry."

Sighing heavily, Logan let the smoke swirl around him.  “Sure, Creed....”  He couldn’t envision a day when he was comfortable around him.

Victor decided to let it go.

Gruffly, but quietly enough that crewmen can't hear, Logan asked, “Are you gonna go nuts if I don't let ya fuck me?”

Victor huffed.  "No," he said.  "I'll try ta control myself."  He might go crazy if he couldn't kiss him though.

Noticing there were a lot of people on this boat Creed could kill, Logan asked, “Ya swear?”

"Logan... I'll tell ya how I feel, okay?  I... can't swear that I won't wanna... get frisky... but I'll try.  We're kinda committed at this point anyway, right?

Hissing at him, he shout-whispered, “Committed??  All I'm committed to is getting your head on straight!”  He was gonna marry Remy... dammit.  He should've gotten rings with him...  He slumped a little at that thought.  “Just talk ta me before ya go about killin’ folks...”

"I... didn't mean ya were committed ta me, Logan.”  He knew better than that.  “I meant, we're committed ta this boat ride."  He felt a little sick that Logan reacted so violently to him, but was going to give him some space and go back down below deck.  "An' I'll talk to ya— I promise."

Watching him go... Logan figured maybe he was overreacting around him a little.  He rubbed his eyes to try to relieve the headache.  His heart hurt all round... and he leaned over the side of the boat and told anyone who asked that he was just feeling a little seasick… but in reality, he was just so fucking lonely he couldn’t see straight.

Victor walked away to go learn the ship and then go back down into their cabin to rest and think.  Going back down after a while, Logan swallowed.  “I'm sorry, Creed.  I'm just….”  He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up.  “I'm a bit knotted up right now... Shouldn’ta... barked at you.”  If we're going to be stuck together, might as well try to be civil.

Victor nodded and leaned back on his bunk.  "That’s okay."  He wished there was something to do on the ship.  He had figured he would get to talk to Logan, but he probably wasn't up for that yet.

Sitting down next to his knees on the bed, he commented, “So...  This is gonna get really fuckin' dull.  Ya got any cards on you?”

"Sorry.  Didn't bring any with me."  Where's the Cajun when ya need 'im?  Creed took a shoe lace out of one of his shoes and started tying the ends together.

Growling, Logan asked, “Wanna play Truth or Dare?”  He watched Creed for a moment, struck, then started chuckling.  “I've been hangin’ out with teenage kids way too long.”

Once it formed a loop he looked up at Logan.  "Yeah, I think ya have.  If you wanna, we could do that."  It might get a little tricky though, if ya ask me.

Looking at the shoelace, he asked, “Ya gonna hang yerself already?”

Victor chuckled.  "Nah.  This is an alternative ta Truth 'er Dare.  Ya might not remember how ta play though— it was a frickin' long time ago."

“What is it?” he asked fingering the knot.

Smiling up at Logan, Victor said, "Cat's cradle."

Chuckling, he said, “Yeah, the girls at the school play that... I been suckered into a game er two….”

"Well, it used ta be a game sailors played 'cause journeys like this one get fuckin' borin'.  Was the first thing that came ta mind.  We can play your game if ya want instead," he said setting aside the string.

“Nah.  This is a little less dangerous,” and he took the shoelace from him, taking only a second to get the cat's cradle between his hands.  “Question for ya, Creed,” he said as he held the cat's cradle up for him to study.  “Where's the cat?  Where's the cradle?”

"Don'cha know they named this game after my bunk?" he joked.  "Used ta make a hammock that looked like this ta sleep in."

Looking up at him, Logan grinned, his heart fluttering for some reason.  “Ever read Kurt Vonnegut?” he asked it again, “Where's the cat?  Where's the cradle?”  He shook the string structure at him.  “Your turn.  Go.”

"No, I ain' never read that one," he said as he made his first move.  "So, did ya have a knack fer the game when the girls suckered ya into it?" he asked.

“Yeah... Was a bit shocked I could do it so well....”  Carefully looping his fingers through the strings Creed twisted it onto his own fingers.

"Like ridin' a bike," he commented.

“Yeah...”  Logan thought hard, really close to him, almost in his lap, his brow furrowed in concentration.  “Dammit, hate it when it gets twisted like this...”  He had a difficult time getting it from him and held it up in victory.  “AHA!”

Victor chuckled at Logan.  The next move he tried to make though, the string got tangled around his nails and he growled at them.  He hadn't had claws like this before.  He kept his nails trimmed just like everybody else on board the ship.  This was annoying.  The cradle was all messed up.

Laughing, Logan said, “I win.”  Carefully, he tried to untangle it from his fingers without cutting it on his nails.  “Is it that much of a hassle to cut these things?”

Victor growled at Logan a little.  "You're lucky yours are retractable," he groused.

“Longer'n yours, too,” he said it like he may as well be talking about his dick, grinning as he finally got it untangled from his hands.  Victor's lip curled up at one side in a growl, but he wasn't really getting angry with Logan... well, not much.   Smirking at him, Logan looked at him under his eyelashes, lifting the cradle up to him.  “Your turn, kitty.”

Victor purred as he leaned in close to Logan and made his move.  Growling a little, Logan gave him a very slight nuzzle as the cradle left his fingers.  “Let's see....” he worked his wrist and got the cradle on his fingers.  “Hghn... kinda fucked that one up....”   The new cradle was a bit lopsided, but a pro could get it.

"I've seen ya pull that one before," he said as he tried to fix it and make something recognizable out of it.  He succeeded, cursing his claws for making it damned difficult to do.

“When did I pull that before?” he asked easily making another turn.

"We played this so many times.  I've just seen ya do it before, is all."

“Huh.  Yer lucky, yer fingers are longer'n mine.”  He smirked cause... that sounded familiar.

"Always an advantage," Victor smirked in return.

“So...  We're Greeks, huh?”

"Yup.  Athletes an' warriors.  Best o' the best."

“You were a blonde Greek?”  He noticed his hands were getting closer to his body and Logan had to follow them.

"Rare as they were, yeah.  I didn't really fit in much.  I don't know if my family came from some place else... childhood is a little fuzzy," he said.

“Were folks as big as you back then?”  He ended up straddling Victor’s knee to get the next one.

Victor's breath was taken away, but he forced his hands to stay in the same place.  "No... I was really tall," he explained.  "After the Christian era rolled around people called me Goliath.  In Sparta they loved that I was big though."  So did you, he finished to himself.

“Goliath?  Who was David?” he grinned sharkily, letting his full weight rest on Creed’s knee, still concentrating on the cradle.

"Generally, you," he said grinning.  He would do anything for Logan, so he felt like Logan was a king, even if David hadn't been Goliath's king in the story.  He was short enough in comparison to him to be David, though.

“Yer tryin' ta tell me we're in the bible, Creed?” he raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, Logan.  Just sayin' that people thought I was a giant.  Crap in the bible didn't happen, so far as I know.  Then again, I was kind of absorbed in you at the time it wouldda been happenin'..."

“So absorbed you didn't notice two cities being burned to the ground?  Or the world being annihilated in a flood?”

"Umm... that was hundreds o' miles away, Logan.  We were in the pagan world still.  Cities burned to the ground alla time when they were taken over an’ I didn't notice the whole world engulfed in a flood, so that gives credence t' my story.  Unless the flood happened before I was born, I don't believe any o' that stuff is true."

“Never been one much for the bible, myself...”  He started laughing as his fingers fumbled with the cradle.  “Oh, shit!”  He watched as it fell apart, chuckling to himself.  “All right, one ta one.”

"Best two outta three?" he asked, knowing that he could go for hours just playing and talking.

“Sure.  If I win, ya gotta be the one ta clean the latrines...” he grinned, starting setting the cradle up again.  Victor was toying with the idea of asking for a better reward than not having to clean out the latrines, but decided that Logan wouldn't respond well to that... even if he was in his lap.

"Yer on," he said instead.

“Your turn,” he said lifting the cradle to him.  “My hands're gonna reek for weeks cause a yer damn shoelace.”

"Will if ya don't wash 'em," he commented as he took the strings from Logan.

“Will if I do,” he quirked eyebrow at him, just being goofy, expertly flipping the string back onto his fingers.

Creed shrugged.  "Wha' d' y' need good smellin' hands for around here anyway, right?" he joked.  Not like there are any ladies to impress... not like y'll wanna impress me.

Grinning, he said, “All these kids look so soft...  Hands like butter.  An' so skinny...  'S a wonder they get anythin’ done here.”

"With most o' the voyage ta spend locked in cabins... I don't figure they do."

“Christ, what else is there ta do around here?”

Creed cleared his throat.  "I could tell ya more about the ships we sailed on..." he offered, really wanting to offer to suck him off instead.  If he had his mouth hooked to Logan's cock for most of the voyage, he couldn't see that being time wasted.

Nodding, Logan said, “I'd like that...”  He held the cradle up to him.  “Which ship was the best?”

"Hmm... probably a pirate we sailed under by the name o' James Howlett.  One o' the last ships we sailed on, actually," he said.

“Yeah?  What was so great about him?”

"He didn't mind whatever the hell we did on his ship, so long as it wasn't mutiny and we did our work.  And neither did the rest o' the crew.  He was a great man.  Pirate, through and through, but a great man.  We stole loads of silver from the Spanish.  He also knew how ta tell a story."

“Story?  Any good ones?” he asked, relaxing, waiting to be told a good story.

"Awe, I can't tell 'em like he could.  My delivery sucks."

Grinning, Logan said, “I got one for ya...  Y' ready?”

"Yeah," Creed said as he examined the cradle in Logan's hands... which also gave him the perfect angle to contemplate his crotch from.

Shifting a little, Logan started, “This guy, Hawkes is on this ship... gets destroyed by this incredible craft called the Ghost, which is,” he shrugged a little at the obviousness of it, “crewed by the souls a’ the damned an all that shit.  Story goes, the Ghost is always lookin’ fer new souls ta take down ta hell. 

“Anyway, Hawkes is the only survivor, stranded on this desert island, right?  So, he realizes that the Ghost is headed for his home town, Jamestown, and that he's the only one who can warn the people there and see that his wife and kids are safe...  So,” he helped Creed get the cradle off of his hands as he spoke, “he decides he needs to build a raft, but all the wood around him is too heavy to float....”

A smile spread slowly over Victor's face as Logan told the story, but he didn't interrupt.

“So then he realizes that in order ta get a raft that floats, he has to tie the corpses of his dead mates to the bottom of a wooden structure, since their bloated remains can keep it aloft.”  He studied Victor’s cradle for a second.  “So, he's on his corpse raft in the middle a the ocean, goin' crazy from starvation an' sunstroke and dehydration when these sharks come up and start chewin’ off parts a the corpses.  This guy's entire raft is getting eaten an he knows he's next if he don't move fast, so he manages to take his broken mast and ram it through the head a this one shark that breaks through his ship.  So, the sharks are all full and he's got this one shark actually sticking through the raft, whose corpse is actually keeping him afloat.

“Now, he knows he's too late, right, this huge ship of damned souls is gonna move one hundred times faster than this guy with no sail on a ship full a dead men and a huge, deteriorating shark corpse.  So, he knows his wife and kids are dead and all the folks he's ever cared about, so he starts deciding what he's gonna do ta these pirates when he reaches Jamestown, right?  I mean, he doesn't know they're souls a the damned, he just thinks they're a bunch a bastard pirates ready to go rape and pillage his home.  Now, he gets to the shore a Jamestown and the first thing he sees is this pirate, right?  This pirate is dressed like a gent, talkin’ ta this nice lady he knows from town, and he just freaks out, figures this hussy is whorin' herself out ta stay alive, he just flips.  So, he tears the pirate off his horse and smashes his head ta bits with a rock, then strangles the woman ta death.  But he realizes he can't get inta the pirate town the way he is, so he dresses up in the pirate's finery.”

Victor nodded, paying close attention.

“But!” he held up finger to make a point, even though it had Creed’s shoelace tied around it.  “But, he knows the watchmen will know that this certain pirate left with a lady and they'll be suspicious if he comes back alone, so he takes this dame's corpse, props her up on her horse and walks with her back into the town.  An' ya know where he's goin’, right, he's goin’ to go kill the bastards that tortured his wife an kids before takin’ over his house.  So, he gets to his house, goes to the master bedroom and immediately starts smashing the shit out of whoever was sleeping in his bed.  Then he hears this screaming so he looks at the door and there are his two kids, shrieking their heads off, and they got candles with um, so he can see that he's actually beating the hell outta his own wife.  See, cause all the Ghost ship wants are the souls a the damned, they don't give a shit about booty an all that….”  He was gesturing with his hands tied together.  “But sometimes, ya gotta send someone crazy so they damn themselves, right?  So, this guy, Hawkes, he realizes he just killed his own wife, so he races out of town, back to the sea, back across his corpse-boat and the body a some poor banker he killed and leaps inta the water..  An just offa the shoreline he could see the Ghost, anchor down, just waiting for him...  Cause...” he shrugged, “Y' know that's all they wanted all along...  Another damned soul ta clean the latrines er somethin’...  And that's it.  Your turn.”  Logan finished lifting the cradle up for him.

"That was from Smithy," Victor said quietly.  He had been the most religious one on the boat, but he hadn't really been Christian... he might have been some hybrid.  He played his next move, being careful not to screw it up.

“What?  Who?  You've heard that one already?”

"He'd tell that story and ones like it when the fog'd roll in ta scare the newbies," he smiled, nodding.

“Well why didn't ya stop me if ya'd already heard it?!”

"'Cause I wanted ta see how good yer memory was!"  Stupid, he added on silently.  "I'm the only check you got, right?"

Sighing, Logan admitted, “I suppose.  Wonder how the mind fuck happened ta miss a pirate tale...”  Carefully, he switched the cradle onto his own fingers.  He liked to think he was regaling him with a good yarn.

Creed looked past the cradle off into space.  "Ya should be glad, Logan.  'Sides, that was one o' my favorites," he grinned and grabbed at the string.

Grinning, Logan agreed, “It's a good one...  Always thought I musta read it somewhere or...  heard someone tell it, but I could never remember where....”  He got a little misty.  “Fuck, I remembered the whole thing...  But nothin’ else....”

"Probably one o' the reasons they missed it," Victor said.  "If you had any images o' real people, they wouldda been targeted memories, but since it wasn't somethin' that happened ta you— they just skimmed right on by."

Nodding, Logan’s eyes were a little wet and unfocused from the frustration.  He tried to get the string from Victor, but several crosses broke apart and it fell into knots around his fingers when he tried to take it.  Snorting a little, he said, “Looks like I got the latrines...  of the damned.”

Creed chuckled.  What if I want ta clean the latrines in exchange fer somethin'... he thought to himself, looking at Logan with hungry eyes, but he made sure to avert them before Logan noticed.

Logan didn’t need to see his hungry eyes, and said softly while he untied the knot in Creed’s shoelace, “Y' know, I can feel ya lookin’ at me.”

Victor cleared his throat.  "Sorry, Logan," he said and looked away.  You being all up in my lap— not helping my 'no fucking' promise.

Bowing his head a little, Logan offered the lace back.  “Well...  What now?”

"Don't know."  I know what I wanna do, but it's not like you'd let that happen.  "They say how long this trip is gonna be?" he asked, knowing that it was probably somewhere along the lines of a month.

“'Bout three weeks....”  He sighed.  “Wish we could take a plane....”

"Like either of us could pass through security," he remarked.

Smirking, Logan said, “Yea, I know....”  Getting on his bunk, Logan leaned back, his hands folded behind his head.

Creed could have gone for a private jet right about then, but thought that this way they at least would be able to get all the talking they wanted done.  He figured Logan was going to grill him.

“So...  This Magellan guy...  What was he like?”

"He was a fanatic of the worst kind.  Really religious.  We were goin' crazy by the end o' that voyage, I tell ya.  That's pretty much the way most of his crew was.  You had ta get us on there because you were better at playin' the pious type than I was."  Victor chuckled remembering Logan carrying around his bible.

“Pious?”  Looking at him, he asked, “I had t’ pretend I was pious?”

Victor nodded.  "You mostly referred to me as your quiet friend, but I got along all right in bible talk.  I mean, we read the damn thing as soon as it came out and laughed at it." 

Smirking a little, he asked, “Y' mean the New Testament? Or were we laughin’ at the Jews, too?”

"Mostly the Christians.  Jews had been around since long before and it was easy ta accept them, ya know?" 

“Were we polytheists?” he asked smirking.  “Pray to Apollo and all that?”

Victor nodded.  "I know that it's all a bunch o' bull shit now, but we held ont' our beliefs fer centuries."

“Yeah....?  Were we ever priests?”  He didn’t really feel like it was bullshit.

Victor shook his head.  "Nah.   We didn't really have time for it— bein' in a lot o' wars and trainin' fer the Olympics alla time.  It was something we believed, but we let other people handle the oracle stuff." 

Grunting, Logan scratched at his beard.  “So...  Magellan...  Tell me more about that.  The seas.”

"Hard work, sailin' with him.  We eventually had ta do most o' the work on the ship 'cause we were the only two that were well nourished enough ta move at one point.  Everybody else was mal nourished or had died o' scurvy."

Wincing, Logan thought that sounded awful.  “So if this guy was so damn religious, he must notta known we were sleepin’ tgether....”

"If he did, he wanted ta ignore it.  We were necessary on the journey— he found that out after a month.  One crew member caught ya in my hammock once and I think he mighta gone ta tell Fernão about it... but he was one o' the ones that didn't make it.  He didn't spread any rumors while he was on the ship though, so I dunno what Fernão told him if the kid talked to 'im, but it musta' been ta shut the fuck up.  I dunno, maybe he didn't say anythin' about it at all.  He was a good kid."

Raising an eyebrow at Victor, Logan said bluntly, “M' surprised ya didn't gut 'im.”

"I wasn't... like this— back then," he said quietly... sadly.

“What were you like, then?”  He really did want to know about him.

"I was... happier.  I had you, what did I need anythin' else for?  I didn't feel angry.  I didn't need ta... kill people... taste flesh…."  He sounded disgusted with himself and shamed in front of Logan.

Staring at the ceiling for a moment, Logan asked, “Why did ya need ta kill?”  He just didn’t understand it.  “If y' were so stable before, I just….”  Shaking his head, he just didn’t get it.

"I needed... revenge.  They took you from me... they took myself away from me."  He hoped that would explain things to Logan, but wasn't thinking it would— at least, not completely.

“Fine, then why'd ya need ta kill me?” he asked sitting up on the bed, facing him.

Victor looked at the floor, his face scrunched up in pain at the memories.  "You took you away from me.  You didn't remember me...  What else was I supposed ta do?" he shrugged.

“..... So you decided you would dedicate your life to killing me?”

"Logan, if the Cajun left you and refused to acknowledge you, wouldn't you be mad at him?" he asked growling deep, not only because he was frustrated that Logan didn't understand, but also that he had to use the Cajun as an example in order for him to begin to understand.  "I was always more of a loose cannon than you anyway— I don't expect ya ta understand."

Stopping Logan actually tried to think about it...  Remy did sort of leave me and refuse to acknowledge me... and no, I don’t feel like killing him...  Logan sighed.  “Guess I'm just not gonna get it.”

"I didn't say, did ya feel like killin' him, I said, were ya angry at him?"  He asked again because he knew he was.  He had been so angry that he was taking it out on a completely unsuspecting Victor.

Blinking, Logan said kind of weakly, “Yeah.”

"Multiply that feelin' by two thousand an' ya'll get a little idea of what I'm talkin' about," he growled out.

Feeling defensive, Logan shouted, “It wasn't my fault, Creed!  I didn't want my memories taken away, I didn't want ta ferget you!!”

"I didn't say ya did, damnit!"  He calmed down.  "I just wanted ya ta understand how I felt.  I ain't sayin' I was right ta feel that way."  Victor was feeling very defensive and he crossed his arms over his chest, looking anywhere but at Logan. There had been times when Creed felt blinded by rage and anger, he thought as he remembered the last fifty years.

Deflating a little, Logan crossed his arms too and flopped back on the bunk, struggling with himself to not say anything violent.  “....  Creed....  If I say I ain' gonna have a relationship with ya, you gonna try ta kill me again?”

Victor tensed up.  He didn't know.  He didn't know if he could live without Logan.  The last fifty years had proven to him that he could survive... but not in a way that would satisfy Logan, certainly.  He stared studiously at the floor and was silent for a long time.   Under what circumstances would he be willing to let Logan go?  They had been together for so long....  He didn't know that he could.  The thought of losing Logan again made his heart start to race and his mind start to fuzz over with panic.

“.....  Creed?” he sat up, feeling like Victor was holding himself hostage for Logan’s affections...  Then, Logan noticed his heart rate and that crazy look he got....  “Shit....”  Getting off his bed, Logan went down to his, and refused to let him wig out on this boat full of people.  Taking his shoulders, Logan touched his face.  “Creed?  Ya with me?  I'm right here, Creed....”

Victor looked at Logan's face and felt relieved at his presence, but his heart rate didn't even out.  It sped up with emotional uncertainty clouding his mind.  "Logan... I'm sorry," he breathed.  He shook his head.  "I don't know if I can do it," he said, his expression tormented.

Pulling Victor’s head into his neck, Logan held him close.  “Well, we're t'gether now, so calm down, all right?”  Petting his back and shoulders like a big cat, Logan tried to sooth him.  Nodding, Victor tried to breathe evenly and calm down.  He felt safe in Logan's embrace and forced himself not to think about the temporary nature of not only the embrace, but also their current relationship.  “We'll work somethin' out, all right?  I won't leave ya all on yer crazed lonesome...  Ya just gotta swear ya won't hurt no one....”

"Not when yer here," he promised.  He could control himself while Logan was there.

“Ya gotta swear ya won’t hurt anybody when I'm not here, Creed!”  Pushing him off him so Logan could look into Victor’s eyes, he said, “I'm not gonna be with ya all the time, ya just gotta trust I'll come back.”

Victor looked at Logan's face.  He didn't understand the time scale he was talking about— and that was key to his whole predicament.  "Ya mean here on the ship?" he asked.

“No, I mean...” nodding a little, he said, “from here on....”

Victor's breath became erratic and his heart was uncontrollable again.  He felt a stinging in his eyes at the thought that Logan wouldn't be with him even for a short time.  He didn't understand why Logan would come back if he could have his precious Remy to himself and ultimately— he didn't believe him.

“What?  Creed, what?  Why're ya freakin’ out on me again?”

"You wouldn't come back ta me," he growled deep in his throat. 

“Why wouldn't I?  Calm down!”

"'Cause ya hate me, runt," he growled.   He was feeling nauseous even as he clung to Logan.

Huffing a little, Logan said, “Nah.  I don't understand ya.  I used ta hate ya...  But I believe ya when ya say ya love me... and that I love you.”

Stilling in Logan's arms Victor became dizzy.  Did he just say what I think he said?  "Yer... serious?" he asked very quietly. 

“Yeah.  I believe it.  All a it....”  Suddenly Logan was struck that he felt even smaller with him than he did with Remy.

Hugging Logan more tightly Victor closed his eyes, breathing in Logan's scent.  Thank you, Logan, he said to him silently.  Maybe he would be all right.  He had to start somewhere if he wanted to not be the beast he had turned into.  "Okay, Logan.  I promise," he said looking at him seriously.

Smirking a little, Logan said, “Thanks, bub.”  Victor didn't let Logan go.  Sighing, Logan knew he was going to want to cling a little and kept his arms around him, suspecting it was around midnight.

 

********

Onto next page

 

Back to Esprit’s fics