Part 2 Figuring It Out

 

 

A week passed and Remy was doing routine checks on his systems of the week of the day that Logan left.  He looked into his surveillance tapes around his place and listened to his bugs.  Logan said something after he left!

 

"If you'da loved me back."  What did that mean?  How was he supposed to show him that he loved him?

 

He could think about it on the way, but right now he was packing for north, because he thought he must have gone back to the mansion. When Remy found that Logan hadn't been to the mansion he thought that he could only be at his Canadian cabin then.  Looking up the address, he was off in a flash.  Stopping by Rogue's room he left her a note.

Chere, don' worry 'bout me.  I'm off to try somethin' new... I'm movin' on.  I did love y' chere, but... I need to do what's best f' me.  See you 'roun'.  Remy

 

Remy reached Logan's cabin and walked into the place.  Logan's duffle was on the couch, but he didn’t seem to be there....  He walked through the cabin.  After finding no Logan, he settled in and started to cook dinner.  Man's gonna be hungry after whatever it is dat he's out doin’.  He made a stew out of what was lying around the cabin.  It was a good thing that his stew needed a long few hours to cook as it was a really long time before Logan got back. 

 

Logan was prowling around in the Canadian wild, letting himself go as primal as he pleased, killing din-din with bare his hands and eating it raw.  He played with wolf cubs and slept under the stars.  Returning to the cabin occasionally, just because it was a familiar place, he preferred to go scavenging and snuffling around in the wild, hunting things, tracking things, playing with things and catnapping all over the place.  He traveled with a pack of wolves for a few days and enjoyed that.

 

Half naked, prowling around in the wild, he was chasing a squirrel just for the pleasure of it, having left the wolf pack a little while ago.  He didn't catch the squirrel, but enjoyed playing in the snow anyway, wandering around a little.  Picking up something on the wind, he sniffed at it and started to sneeze.

Remy remembered that he wanted to use that unscented stuff like Logan wanted.  He thought that maybe that was where a piece of their communication was left out.

Logan smelled some new and interesting scents as well.  He smelled fire and meat, knowing it was coming from the familiar place.  Creeping up on it he was suddenly very aware of all the little changes normal people probably couldn't see even if it were pointed out to them.  It was like the little Goldie Locks story and he was the bear; he knew someone had been in the house!

Remy showered while the stew was cooking and the warm water felt nice.  He stepped out of the shower and found that he forgot to bring a change of clothes in with him....

Noticing the door was open, he very stealthily snuck inside, careful to keep from sneezing.  He had yet to remember the smell because he was so primal at the moment.

Remy stepped out into the main room to go get his clothes and stopped dead in his tracks at seeing Logan.  Remy was naked.

Logan was very feral looking, as Remy watched him with his still posture, claws out.  Remy knew that if he made any sudden moves, he would be in ribbons by the time he knew what was happening.  “Rrrrrrrrrr...”  Logan’s eyes were on him, steely cold and feral.

Confronted with Logan... wild like that... Remy couldn’t help but respond, but not in a movement sort of way.  His manhood started to stir of its own accord and he was a little embarrassed at his reaction.

Logan’s nostrils flared again, trying to smell the stranger.  He sneezed hard, and reacted as if Remy were going to take advantage of it.  “Rrrrrrrr...”  He carefully inched closer to him, claws leading the way, crouched low to the floor.

Logan looked so rugged and dangerous-- and he was.  Remy had the strong desire to have Logan take him.  He was at full attention as Logan came within arm's reach.  He hadn't moved a muscle though.

Huffing repeatedly, Logan tried to smell what was beyond that awful stink, and could see Remy flushed with his eyes wide.  He was unused to seeing another biped, much less an aroused one, so he curiously approached, his survival instinct still overruling mating instinct though.

Remy was standing still, trying to read him.  He could see that Logan was feral and wondered, did I do dis to him?  Couldn'a been me....  "Logan..." he whispered loudly enough that he knew Logan could hear, but softly enough that it shouldn't be a surprise to him.

Logan blinked at him a few times.  English made sense here.  He leaned in, claws still ready to push into him if he did anything scary.  He was searching for a whiff of the man standing in front of him.  “Mrrrr...” he growled and snuffled along his neck.

Remy's heart raced as Logan got closer.  He knew that Logan could kill him at any moment and the thought scared the shit out of him and arouses him.  He'd always been an adrenaline junkie—he had got plenty now.  He was so hard, he wasn’t sure about whether or not it hurt.

Logan found that spot behind Remy’s ear, pressed his nose into it and inhaled steadily.  He knew this smell very well, oh, yes... began to relax a little.

The open door began to chill Remy's wet skin and he shivered, but he didn’t dare move any more than that.

Starting at the sound of the door being blown shut Logan almost gutted Remy on the spot.  Instead he took a moment to relax and tentatively started licking him all over.

"Logan... mon coeur..." [My heart-- French.] he said as he felt Logan licking him.  He loved the feel of Logan’s warm tongue.

Logan grunted, just wanting that awful stink gone, ‘cause Remy smelled so good beneath.  He slowly and unintentionally pulled his claws back in dragged Remy to the floor because he was so damn tall.

Remy let himself be guided, but didn’t take the initiative, noting that Logan was still feral.

Logan grabbed his hair and moved Remy’s head around like he was a pup, cleaning him pretty thoroughly since he somehow got smellier when he tried to clean himself.  He was not being too gentle.

Remy whimpered at the way Logan’s tongue scraped across his skin and jerked slightly when he hit sensitive spots.  "Logan.... mmm..."  He didn’t want to be too loud, but couldn’t help the sounds he made.  Remy wondered if he was going to smell like Logan when he was all done giving him a second shower.

Logan was slowly coming to, realizing that this man in front of him was from a different world than this great outdoors, but kept licking as if the answer to all this was in the real smell of him.  Remy couldn’t help it as Logan licked more of him and he writhed under his attentions.

Starting to get a little more frantic, Logan crawled atop him, pawing at him.  Something about this felt so right... and his instinct to mate had come back.

Remy felt himself dripping precome at this point and wondered if Logan was going to get that far.  He still liked that Logan was licking him all over though.  He enjoyed that Logan forced him down and held him there.  He wanted to kiss Logan badly, but didn’t until he got the opportunity without much movement.

Starting to bite on Remy, he curled his fingers into him, sinking his teeth into his neck and started rubbing his cock on Remy through what was left of his jeans.

"Ahhh... Logan," he whispered out at the biting.  He reached down and unbuttoned his jeans with one hand, rubbing Logan’s cock through them while his hand was down there.

Logan blinked for a moment, distracted, thinking 'Logan' sounded so familiar.  He could smell Remy now, and could smell the need and his willingness and his... Remy-ness.  Remy started licking Logan back where he could, mostly at the neck at this point.  Logan pushed his face into Remy’s neck and inhaled because it was such a bloody turn on.  Tearing off what was left of the scraps around his waist, he opened Remy’s legs, and thrust aimlessly and desperately between them.

Remy firmly clasped his lips around a section of Logan’s neck and cried out, but the sound was muffled by his skin as he thrust between his legs.  He sucked hard at the skin there, but was careful not to break the skin-- he didn’t want to cause him any pain.

Pawing at him, he managed to flip him on his front.  Logan needed to do this in the most primitive way, pushing ineffectively at his bottom, knowing this was supposed to work somehow.  He needed to be inside, huffing in frustration.

Remy relaxed as much as possible and pried himself apart for Logan to enter.  He knew it would hurt, but didn’t care at that moment.  He slipped a finger in to lubricate things as best he could, but there wasn’t much moisture to go around.  Guiding Logan’s member to the opening, he caressed his cock.

Grunting and snarling, his hard cock leaked on him, thankfully, rather fluidly, and he grabbed Remy around his middle, pushed in all the way, howling in accomplishment and pride that he had claimed his mate!

"Aaaahhh!!!" Remy couldn’t keep that quiet, but it mingled with Logan’s howl and so he didn’t think it was going to make a difference at this point.  Once the pain faded a little, he could concentrate on the pleasure of it.  His skin was on fire, but he always liked being warm.  He squeezed against Logan as he thrust and knew that it would make it better the more he did that.  Remy moved against him and grunted with him.  "Ah!  Logan...." he moaned out again.

Logan was pretty artless in fucking because this was more of a property deal than a romantic encounter.  He rutted against him, panting and biting on his shoulders.  He lifted Remy’s hips just the way he liked it and slowed a little when he said his name.

"Don't stop!  Don't stop, please, Logan," he pleaded and bucked against him harder.

Crawling further on top of him to the point where he was nearly straddling his mate, he drove down into his ass, completely dominating him.  He felt his cock swell as his orgasm neared.

Remy didn’t know why this happened, but he could always get a sense of when his lover was mounting to an orgasm and having one.  If he opened up, he could really feel it, but he was not ready for that with Logan yet.  Just the thought of Logan having an orgasm inside him though got him so hard he thought he was going to cum prematurely, but he held on so he could actually experience the orgasm’s shadow with Logan.  He wiggled himself under Logan, matching his thrusting as he felt the climax nearing.

The snarl steadily built as he pounded mercilessly into him, going at him for a good while before throwing his head back and roaring, coming hard inside his mate and filling him to the brim.

Remy gasped as Logan climaxed inside him and cried out, "Logan!!!!"  The shadow of the orgasm was enough to push him over his own precipice into climax and he sprayed the floor with white cream.

Logan was trembling hard as something broke in his mind with that orgasm and he flopped heavily to the floor in a heap, passing right out.

"Oh, Logan..." Remy panted.  "Aishiteru, Logan...." [I love you, in Japanese.]  As Logan fell off of him, he tried to move to get him comfortable, but he wasn’t quite able to move yet.

Logan blinked to awareness a few minutes later, primal instincts going as he slowly recalled what just happened.  He could very vividly remember the squirrel and the wolves, but was having a hard time recalling exactly how he ended up lying well fucked on the cabin floor.

Remy was stroking Logan’s mussed up hair and purring to himself.  He felt Logan stir next to him and mumbled again, this time so Logan could hear him, "Aishiteru, Logan." [I love you, in Japanese.  Not the light kind of love, like "I like you."  Major love, here.]

Logan blinked, knowing that voice and looked over at Remy.  “Shit!”  He got up, a little panicky.  “What the hell are you doing here, Remy?” he asked, his voice a little raw from only using it to make conversations with wolves.

Remy blinked a little, then realized that Logan had just come back to his senses and that he’d missed the last half an hour of lovemaking.  Half an hour?!  De stew!  Remy got up causally, although he was very soar and had trouble standing up straight, to go check on the stew in the kitchen.  "Welcome home, Logan," he said, leaning on the couch for support, not bothering to cover up his nakedness.

Logan looked around—God he must've really been out of it; it hadn’t been that bad for a while.  He took a moment to try to get some clothes on then stared at Remy in disbelief.  “How long have you been here?  Why did you come here?  What do you want, Remy?  God, I coulda’ killed you!  Are you stupid er somethin’?  What are you doing here!?”

"Hmm...  I been here… maybe three or four hours.  I came here to apologize to you.  I ain' never said I was smart and I'm makin' stew.  You hungry?"  He left out that Logan started the lovemaking and that he just went along for the ride.  But man, what a ride!

Logan was suddenly struck with the scent of semen and blood.  “Oh...  Oh, shit....”  He thought he was going to really throw up.  “Remy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...  God, I had no idea what I was doin', oh, fuck me!”  He figured he must have raped Remy pretty brutally and started pacing and shaking.  “Remy, I didn't know—you shouldn'ta come here....”  Logan started ranting a little.  “Gotta get you to a hospital, dammit kid!  Put some clothes on!”  He started trying to find ratty old blankets for Remy, knowing how Remy hated the cold.  “God, I'm sorry, oh, shit, you shouldn'ta come here, I don't know what happens, no I do, I just can't stop it, tell me you understand that, you gotta understand, Remy, I didn't mean to....”

"Logan... I won' fuck y' 'nless y' ask.  Y don' have t' be sorry.  If I didn't come here... I wouldn' get to apologize to you, would I?"  He continued, "Y' don' have to worry.  Remy'll be jus' fine."  Remy took a bite of the stew and thought it was pretty damn good for hodge-podge stuff.  "Hungry yet?"

“What?”  Logan wondered if Remy was delusional; he was just raped for godssakes!  “Remy, where's yer clothes?”  He found them and frantically started trying to dress the young man, tears welling up in eyes.  “I never done that before, Remy, Jesus...  You didn't deserve that....  Come on, we gotta... I gotta do something...” he blinked at Remy. “What's the matter with you!?  Aren't ya gonna... hit me er somethin?  Blow me up?  C'mon, Remy, at least give it a go....”

Remy laughed at Logan.  "You t’ink I wanna hit you?"  He chuckled.  "Why??"  Remy relented and put on the clothes that Logan brought him. 

Logan was completely overwhelmed.  “I just raped you, ya stupid Cajun!”

Remy paused after Logan shouted at him. "Rape?  Logan... I never asked you to stop.  You were a little overzealous, but dat'll heal."

Logan started trembling.  “You don't get it, Remy....” he said as he sat down on the sofa, shuddering visibly.  “Even if ya told me ta stop, I wouldn't've....”

Remy sat down beside Logan and put his arm gently around his shoulder.  "Logan, I know dat it's hard f' you... dat dere tings y' say y' can' control, but I'm bettin' y' I instigated it."

“That doesn't matter, Remy!!  Jesus!” he put his head in his hands, shaking like a terrified dog.  “I ain't lost it that bad in such a long time....”  He could smell himself on Remy when he got near, could feel himself react to it.  Standing up, he moved away from the boy, still trembling like a leaf.  “You have ta leave.”

"I don' haveta do any such damn thing.  I came eight hundred miles t' apologize t' you an' I ain' gon' leave until it's been accepted t' m' satisfaction, comprendres?" <Understand?>

“All right, then....” he said as he backed against a wall.  “You apologize, I'll accept it, and then you leave,” he made his terms.

Remy made a casual waive of his hand in the air as if shoeing something off.  "Such verbal, blasé, cliché, insincere apologies... not my style.  Why don' we have some stew, chat-- catch up, sleep on it-- in separate room o'course, an' we can attack dis whole ting in de mornin'."  Remy's smile was as sincere as he could manage, but there was an underlying note of fear in his expression.  Fear of what though wasn’t obvious.  I don' wanna screw dis up again, ami.

Still shuddering in a very disconcerting way, Logan felt terrified, wanting to go run into the woods again where things weren’t so complicated, but was trying really, really hard to be a good person.

"Okay?  Surely you want somethin' better t' eat dan rabits?" he cajoled.

Logan liked rabbits!  “Remy, I accept your apology.  Get out.” Before I lose control again, he finished to himself.  For Logan control was a very tentative thing at that moment.

"Y'know what, Logan," he started off with a very soothing voice.  "I figure dat we got off on de wrong foot for a couple o' reasons.  First o' which is a lack o' proper communication.  Second is a fundamental lack o' trust.  I don' trust people right away, but I do trust you, Logan.  An' I'm not afraid of you, or your lack of control."  Remy looked at Logan evenly.

Logan backed a little more into a corner, peering out at Remy with sharp blue eyes, almost struggling too much to listen to him.  “Get ta the point....”

"De point is dat I trust you an' I wanna be  wit’ you.  Damnit, Logan!  Aishiteru!" Remy shouted.  "I wouldn'a traveled so far... in de snow for you if I didn't."

Logan watched Remy for a moment.  “That's sweet, Remy.”  He didn’t know what else to say.  Crouching down, leaning on his knuckles he asked, “So what do you want?”

Remy sighed. "I wan' y' t' eat m' cookin'.  It's been ready for a while now," Remy said as he turned from Logan and gathered bowls from the small kitchen.

Logan swallowed.  “Already ate....”  He didn’t know what else to do though and crawled like a beaten puppy into the kitchen behind him.

"How long y' been up here?" Remy asked to make conversation.  The stew would keep for as long as it needed to and Remy was more worried about offending Logan and his physical health.  When Remy turned from the kitchen cupboard after leaving the bowls on the counter, he paused with a worried expression on his face at Logan’s crouched position.

Wondering what the hell Remy’s problem was Logan then realized he was only knee-height with him....  Awkwardly and self consciously he stood up and cleared his throat.

"How long?  Two weeks?  Three?  Been nearly a mont' since I saw y' last.  I'm worried 'bout y', Logan."

“M' fine, Gumbo....”  He cleared his throat again.  “Been here... a while....” he said as he realized he had really lost track of time.

Remy didn’t really believe him and was more worried for his mental health, at this point, mostly because Logan wasn’t acting like himself and hadn't been for several weeks at least.  What sent him feral?  Emotional trauma, that's what. Remy musta hurt you bad, homme. 

Logan taped his fingers awkwardly on the table.  “So...” he said as he looked around.  “What's in that stew?”

Remy was about to expound on how he didn't mean to hurt Logan, but thought better of it.  They both needed some space away from the subject.  "Jus' what I could find in de place.  Dere were some potatoes and carrots lyin' 'roun' and y' had some meat in de freezer.  I assume it's beef, but it could be venison. Dere were some spices in de cabinet.  I'm surprised dere weren't more food in de place.  Y' gon' starve y'self if'n y' not careful."

“I....  I eat well.” He sat down in a rickety chair then stood up again, looking for a shirt.  Finding an old moth-eaten one in the closet he pulled it on.

Remy looked at Logan as he fidgeted and served him a bowl of stew because he thought that was what he wanted.  Otherwise he wouldn't have sat down.

Logan shuffled over and sat before the soup, looking at Remy.  “You eating?”

Remy really wasn’t sure that Logan knew what he wanted at all, saying one thing and doing another always.  "O' course.  I was only waitin' fer you.  I'm starved," he smiled.

Nodding, Logan moved to stick his fingers in the soup, but shifted to find a spoon, and started eating.

Remy fixed his bowl second and piled a heap more pepper into it, making sure to leave it on the table in case Logan wanted some.  He figured he'd salted the stuff enough.

Remy finally sat down gingerly and winced slightly as he did.  "It ain' 'xactly gourmet, but it's not dat bad.  De pepper helps," he said after he took a bite of the soup, if only to have sound in the room.  Everything was awkward and tense.

Eating in silence, Logan’s eyes darted around.  Finally, he heard something and perked up, eyes wide and searching.  “Mrrrrrgghh....” he growled low.

Remy forced down the urge to ask, 'What is it boy?' as if he were talking to a dog, and asked instead, "Hear somethin', Logan?" in a worried tone.

Not responding, he slunk out of the chair and padded silently to the door, cracking it open and peering out.  He squared his shoulders.

Remy gently sat down his spoon and listened, hoping to hear what Logan was upset about, following him with his eyes as Logan left the table, but certain he shouldn't follow at this point.  Remy braced himself and got ready to bolt from his chair, but waited for any cues from Logan before moving significantly.  "Logan...?" he asked tentatively as the man who was acting much more like a wolf stared out the door.

Looking like he was about to spring, with his haunches wiggling a little before springing out into the snow, he snarled and roared, obviously scrapping with something.

"Logan!" Remy shouted and followed him out the door in a flash.  He grabbed his deck of cards on the way out the door and stopped to take a look at the situation Logan had himself in.

He was tussling with a wolf, already having suffered a few gashes and gouges.  His claws were in, just wrestling.  He finally let wolf hop away a few paces, grinning at it before the wolf leapt at Logan again with a snarl.

"Shit!" Remy shouted as the wolf attacked again and Remy threw a card at the ground near the two of you so that the explosion will scare the animal away.

Logan immediately responded, claws out, snarling at Remy dangerously as the wolf did the same.  Two pairs of feral, angry eyes were set on Remy, flickering.

Remy crouched and responded in kind, snarling with bared white teeth, staring more at the wolf than at Logan.  Remy understood animal language to a certain degree and really wanted the animal to leave.  He growled low in his throat and advanced toward the wolf with a card glowing in his hands and his eyes starting to glow in resonance.

"One step nearer, pup an' y' toast," he purred in combative invitation.  "I don' know what's goin' on, Logan," he said in a more mild voice to Logan, still looking at the wolf.  Remy was confused by Logan's snarl.  Was it directed at him?

Logan huffed at Remy for a moment, trying to blink back to recognition.  He looked over at the wolf who was about to pounce on him and managed to grab his scruff before he tore Remy’s throat out.  Logan looked up at him, still breathing hard.  “S.. sorry...  He's a...  He's a mate,” he said finally letting the wolf go.  He knew the wolf was a little confused, but it stayed at Logan’s side, looking at Remy warily.

Remy crouched like he was about to get attacked, but straightened up once Logan had the thing by the neck.   "M... mate?" Remy asked worriedly.  He gave the wolf an evaluating glance, not really believing Logan.

He blinked at Remy.  “Friend...  Buddy....”  He carefully approached Remy and noticed the wolf was trailing at his heels.

Remy nodded and relaxed.  He reached out to touch Logan, to make sure he was okay. "He didn' hurt you… did he?"

“M'fine...”  His wounds were healed already and he realized that he was standing at a very crucial point; he could go back inside with Remy, or out into the woods with his wolf friend.

Remy touched Logan’s face and shoulder where the wounds had been. Remy swallowed, waiting.  He could feel the tense moment.

Logan thought that the wolf understood him better.  He looked over at Remy when he touched Logan and he blinked at him.  “Hi.”

"Hey," he tried to smile, not able to pull it off entirely.

Logan casually petted the wolf when he started licking his hand.  “He's...  he's all right,” he said talking to the wolf then looked up at Remy.  “He comes inside sometimes.  Just don't make any... fast movements around him....”  He stepped inside again, wolf still trailing after him.

Remy was relieved that Logan was coming back inside and welcomed the wolf in.  He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl.  "You tink it's okay to feed 'im?"

Logan shrugged, putting his own bowl on the floor, letting the wolf eat out of it.  He smiled up at Remy, very proud of his wolf friend.

Remy grabbed the other bowl and filled it with the last of the stew before setting it in front of Logan.  Remy smiled back at Logan, much more brightly this time as he left the bowl on the table.  He didn’t reach out to touch the wolf, but he did move around casually, as if the wolf weren't interfering with his activities.

Logan reached out and petted the wolf, very taken with him.  He said to Remy, “We could show you some great hunting grounds.”

One side of Remy's mouth quirked up in a smile.  "I'd like dat."  Maybe they could actually get some venison and see how stew turned out with it fresh.  This stuff probably was venison, but it wasn't all that fresh.  "We actually catch somethin' an' y' gon' have t' teach me how t' make jerky."

Logan blinked thinking that he never eats anything that isn't raw.  “Ah... Yeah....”  He smiled a little awkwardly.  “How long you going to stay, Remy?”

"I dunno.  Until de time is right, I s'pose.  I hope dat's all right wit you.  I... like bein' around y', Logan."  Remy hoped that his newly invested trust didn’t backfire on him, but was still bracing himself a littel bit.  Still, it was more trust than he'd displayed to a single person in years.

“Eghn....”  he shifted a bit.  “You...  Want me to sleep in here?” he asked letting the wolf wander off in the cabin.  “Supposin' I should...  Animals don't shy away from this place...  wouldn't want someone munchin on you in yer sleep.”

"Y' sleep where y' want to, Logan.  I can't really sleep outside.  'M sorry, but I just can't.  Not in de snow.  I'll sleep anywhere y' wan' me to inside."  Remy thought to himself how nice it would be to just sleep next to an open fire.  It sounds particularly comforting at the moment, considering it sounded like Logan was going to leave him alone there again.

Logan shifted around a bit.  “Ahh...  Y' can...  Go t' town if y' wanna...  This ain't xactly a ...  comfy place...”

"It's plenty comfy, especially once we get a fire goin'.  Logan, if I went into town, it'd defeat de purpose o' comin' here."

“How?” he asked and got up and shuffled into the other room, grinning when the wolf latched onto his arm.  Logan bit back for a minute before shoving him off and working on a fire.

"You wouldn't be dere." he said simply, as if it should explain everything down to his deepest feelings.

“Ah....” he swallowed, still feeling weird about that whole thing.  He really wanted to avoid it.  “Lemme get some wood....”

Remy nodded and looked back at his stew, thinking how hard this whole thing was going to be.  His appetite was suddenly gone as fear clutched his stomach.  Outside, Logan paced a moment before going into the woods to the sickest tree and having at it with his claws.

What if I never get Logan?  What if he never wants to lay eyes on me again?  Mon dieu.  Maybe that's why Scott says it's bad for X-Men to date each oder.  He would never want to keep Logan from the X-Men.  Why did he always have to screw things up?  This time he was trying to do what he felt in his heart. 

Logan came inside with the wood, grinning at Remy and beginning to pile them up.  “Ah... Hey...  Y' got that light trick?”

Remy looked up from his sad musing and smiled at him.  "Always on me," he said.  "Got any kindlin'?"

“Yeah...”  he said, finding some old papers, chucking them in the fire.

"Dat'll do," he said as he figured that all the small twigs and things were all wet from the snow still.  He built a log cabin fire with smaller pieces in the center and lit the paper in the middle.  Watching Remy, Logan had the sudden urge to make him happy here, wanting to impress him with hospitality-- maybe because he made such a bad first impression.

Remy smiled at the fire he just started and warmed his hands to it.  He scooted over for Logan to enjoy too, if he wanted.

Smiling again, he leaned forward and softly nuzzled his neck.  “’M really sorry, Remy....”

He sighed contentedly as the fire caught and did its job and Logan nuzzled him.  His heart relaxed painfully from the clench it was in from the uncertainty and he leaned into him a little.  "'M sorry too, Logan.  For everythin'."

Roughly, Logan said, “Believe me... I didn't want our first time to be like that....”

Remy swallowed.  "I know."  His throat developed a knot like it had too often in recent memory and he tried to hide his emotion.  "Tell y' de trut', I didn' wan' it like dat eider... but it's okay.  I'm more of a romantic, oui?" he chuckled.

Bowing his head, he said, “I'm really...  really fucking sorry, Remy....” and he curled up on the floor next to him.  He let out a huff.

"I know.  'S not y' fault, really.  I'm de one who should be sorry."

“Why?”

"It's... m' pheromones.  Dey get outta control.  I came up here to apologize, but I coulnd't help tinking 'bout y'....  I'm sorry, Logan."

Logan shook his head.  “I should...   I should have had control no matter what ya smelled like....”

Remy nodded his head.  They both wanted to blame themselves, but the other wouldn’t let them.  "What caused y' to—" lose control?  "Never mind."  S'pose dat's a stupid question.  Remy didn't want to assume that it was because of him, but didn't want to pry for other possible answers either.

Clearing his throat, Logan asked, “Y' cold?”

"Only a little."

“I ain't got anymore blankets...  Sorry....”

"De fire's fine."

Nodding, Logan leaned into him a little.  “You didn’t have to come find me...  There's nothing for you to apologize for....”

"Sure dere is.  You wouldn'a left oderwise," he said softly.  "I didn' wanna hurt y', Logan.  I'm so sorry," he whispered out.

Logan shook his head again.  “It's my own damn fault....  I knew I shouldn'ta fallen for ya.”

"Fallen--"  Remy stared into the fire, hoping that it will hold the revelations about Logan's emotions.  "Logan... boku aishitemasu ka?" [You love me? in Japanese.] It was easier for Remy to say if it didn’t sound weird coming out of his mouth.  "I'm sorry, Logan.  Don' answer dat."  He snuggled into him.  "I care 'bout y'.  Dat's all dat matters."

Swallowing hard, he didn’t want to answer it.  He put his nose in Remy’s hair and just breathed for a little while.  “At least... you don't stink so bad now.”

Remy chuckled lightly.  He hoped that it would allow Logan to read him a little better.  He promised himself that he would start using the non-smell stuff, but hadn't gotten himself to do it while he was in civilization.

“Where y' been this past month?”

"N'Awlin's," he choked out.  "I didn't hear it until it was too late."

Logan blinked at that.  “Hear what?”

"What' y' said when y' left."

“I don't remember... What'd I say?”

Remy was silent for a long time, looking into the fire.  "I don' know if y' still mean it... or even if y' meant it when y' said it... but, y' said--" the knot came back full force and it was difficult for Remy to speak.  "Dat y'd a loved me-- f'rever... if I loved y' back."  It had only been after hearing those words on the surveillance tape that he realized what his feelings were.  Please don' be mad, Logan.  "I ain' holdin' y' to it 'er nothin'... Dat's just why I had t' come up here."

Smirking softly, he said, “Oh... Yeah.  I remember that.  I wasn't sure whether I said it out loud or not.”

Remy smiled through eyes that were ready to spill tears out onto his cheeks.  "Y' said it loud 'nough f' m' recordin' system t' hear."  Remy was after all, a thief and routinely kept track of his place.  In fact it had been the routine check that he found the statement on.

Logan looked over at him.  “Y' gonna cry?” he asked noticing Remy’s eyes were a little dewy.

"Heh, moi?  Cry?  'Course not," he said as he blinked back the tears, but in the process one escaped and caught his cheek on its way down.  Remy stopped as he felt the tear escape and looked to Logan, knowing he'd been caught.

Reaching up and catching it on a finger, he licked it.  “Even yer tears are spicy,” he grinned softly.

"It's all de gumbo," he supplied, as if the spices could really effect his tears.  "Desolé, Loagan," [Desolé, sorry in French.] he said and his eyes scrunched up and his lips quivered as more tears look like they were about to escape the same way the first one did.

            Logan didn’t say anything, just pulled Remy against his chest, stroking his hair.  Allowing his wolf friend to come and sit with them, he watched as Remy attached himself to Logan and nuzzled his head against his chest.

Stroking his face and hair, he said, “Yer not gonna like it up here, kid...  You'll get really cold...  Maybe I should take you back to the mansion...” he said thinking that he could be a bit of a let down.

"Please don' leave me...." he plead quietly.  After trying this much and feeling this close to bonding with Logan, he feared all of his efforts being in vain.

“Ok,” he said collecting Remy into his lap and realized he was really just a kid.  Logan really liked Remy’s hair and snuffled back into it, pretending to not notice the chipmunk skittering across the mantle.

Remy sighed contentedly in his arms, relieved that he wasn’t going to leave.

“Heard any news from the mansion?” he asked keeping him cradled close against strong, hard chest.  Logan was built like a tank, and Remy loved it.

"Nobody's heard from de Prof. still.  Scott is havin' a time wit de munchkins.  I'm not sure wheder Emma's helpin' or not," he smirked.  "I... broke it off wit' Rogue," he said under his breath.  He wasn't sure whether or not he should have said that last thing, but it came out.

Logan’s heart picked up and he hoped Remy couldn’t feel it.  “How'd she take it?”

"Don' know.  I tried to contact 'er.  She was in her home town.  Won't answer calls.  She got no decency to respond t' me, I give no more decency dan a letter."

“Y' wrote her a letter?”

"Yeah.  Kinda’ stupid," he chided himself quietly.

He tried to keep from grinning.  “So...   I can expect a furious skunk-haired mutant with life-sucking abilities to come flyin’ up here t’ defend yer honor?”

Remy smiled to himself.  "I s'pose we could expect dat any second, oui."

Chuckling, he commented, “Great.  Thanks, Cajun,” and watched as the wolf beat his tail against Remy’s knee.  He reached out to pet the thick, ratty fur.

Remy wanted to reach out and touch the animal, but didn’t for fear of spooking it.  The relationship it had with Logan as very different and far more secure than that of Remy and he knew it.  "Any time."  He squeezed Logan closer.

Logan let time pass quietly, just enjoying being near Remy despite all the inner conflict.  He said after a good long while, “Sorry fer stormin’ out on ya.”

"I deserved it," he said off handedly in response, meaning it.  He had thought about how much of a jerk he was being back in New Orleans, and had come to the conclusion that he was definitely an ass that needed whipping back into shape.

Logan sighed.  “Y' gotta stop bein' so hard on y'self, Remy.”

Remy smiled.  "Y' too, non?"

“I ain't hard on myself!” he shouted, thinking he was even a little arrogant.

Remy chuckled and then, drew Logan's hand underneath Remy's shirt collar to where the skin was broken on his shoulder.  "Y' not hard on y'self f' dis?"

Logan jerked a little, muttering, “I got reason t’ be hard on myself fer that....” he said, gently stroking it.  He knew it for what it was—branding.

The mark was still sore, but it reminded him of what it felt like-- what Logan's passion felt like, and he enjoyed it.  "I don' tink y' do.  But den, I feel I should be hard on m'self f' bein' de states biggest jerk."

Logan liked the feeling of Remy’s five o'clock shadow, but liked the softness of his lips a little more.  He gave him a sharky grin.  “Yeah...  You are a bit of a jerk aren't ya?”

"I'm havin' Hank work on de cure f' me.  It's de next big project since he don' have Legacy anymore."

Grinning, he said, “Cocky, smelly, loveable Cajuns...  To treat the symptoms, apply some Prime Canadian Beefcake.”

Remy laughed outright and hoped that he didn't startle the wolf, but figured he did.  "Oui... dat's what I need," he chuckled, finishing with a sigh.

Logan watched the wolf get up and trot off like it was saying, "I can't get any sleep around here." 

"I'm sorry-- I scared off y' mate."

“He'll be back.  He just gets pissy.”  Logan could relate. Ruffling Remy’s hair fondly, he poked the fire with his bare toe.

"Careful doin' dat!" Remy said concerned.

“I'll heal.”  As he said it, indeed the burned flesh smoothed right over.

"Dat must hurt still..."

“Reminds me I'm alive....” he mused, just like petting your hair and your throat does.

"Can tink of less painful ways o' doin' dat, cher," he said a little worried for Logan’s sanity.  "I tink dat's probably why Remy's libido so... active."

Logan was kind of zonin' out on the flames.  “Yeah...” then blinked, looking down at Remy.  “Your libido is always active, Remy.”  He grinned at the boy.

"'Scuse moi."

Logan stroked Remy’s hair casually.  “Y'know, there's a good view a Venus up here sometimes...  Shines like a freakin' nuclear blast.”

"Bet y' get d'Aurora Borealis, too," he smiled gently.

Grinning, he said,   “Oh, yeah...  Even the animals come out to watch that...”

"Really?  I didn' tink all of 'em could see dat.  Different cones an' all."

“Y' don't have t' see it t' appreciate it...  Y' can feel it, too...  like an energy in the air...  all that light bouncin' all over the sky...  It's like a living thing....”

Remy closed his eyes and listened to his heart beat and his voice.  "Tink we'll get t' see 'em, or is it de wrong time o' year?"

Shakig his head, he said,  “Nah...  Come up in a few months, y'll see um then....” he shifted about trying to get comfortable, hearing the nocturnal creatures wake up.  “If you wake up with a raccoon eating your socks, don't freak out.”

"Coons wouldn' be stupid 'nough t' go near m' socks; dey'd knock 'em out b'fore dey got a full six inches away," Remy smiled.

Logan snorted.  “Then maybe we should take your shoes off as a precaution against the bears,” he said trying to spook Remy.

"Lay 'em outside, I don' care."  Remy's feet weren’t that smelly-- he did take care of himself, he was just trying to make light of the situation.

Chuckling, Logan thought that Remy was adorable.  He knew his feet didn’t smell, or he would've smelled them long ago.  Grabbing him by your hair, he pulled Remy in for a wet kiss.

Remy was taken aback by the suddenness of the kiss, and was shocked for a second, but he thirsted for Logan’s kisses and clutched at his shirt, praying he wouldn’t let go.  He fell into the kiss, relaxing against him, moving his hands from Logan’s shirt to the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair.  His heart was beating like a drum in his chest and he was sure Logan could hear it, or even feel it beating against his chest.

Cradling Remy in his arms, he could feel his excitement.  Stroking his neck he said, “No...  No more for tonight, all right Remy?”

Remy nodded and tried to come down from his high, taking deep breaths.

Grabbing a ratty blanket Logan bunched it up, leaning Remy back on it like a pillow.  He curled up next to him, very close, but took his arms from around Remy.  Remy curled into a little ball that ended up being snuggled into him.  Grinning, he couldn’t resist stroking Remy’s lovely hair.  “Night, Remy....”

"Night, Logan."  Remy was fading fast by the fire, mostly because of being so tense for so long and now being able to relax.  He finally felt like he was at peace.

 

 

 

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