Sometimes I Forget Why I Hate You So Much, Le Beau

by Esprit

            There was a beep throughout the mansion announcing that someone was at the gate. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. In fact it happened often now that the ranks of the X were changing every so often. Only this time, no one was expected. There was no one to be picked up at the airport, no unexpectedly expected guest, so people curiously answered the gate’s intercom. “Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. How may I help you?” Ororo’s voice echoed sweetly over the intercom at the gate.

            “Yes, I have a delivery here for a Mr. Le Beau?”

            “Really? Please come in.” The gate unlocked with a buzz and opened automatically allowing the delivery boy to enter.

            Those of the X-Men who were¼ not exactly “normal” looking steered clear of the front door. Most of the others had things to be doing anyway. Remy went to answer the door since Ororo informed him that the package was for him. Opening the door, he saw a young man dressed in a uniform, having parked the company car in the circle for a moment to climb up the short steps to the front doors.

            “Aloh,” he said to the young man and the boy blushed. Remy was wearing his sun glasses and one of his more casual attires which the girls still seemed to think he looked delicious in. Still, the boy had no reason to blush¼ unless. Oh boy. Charm powers most definitely off! The only reason Remy left him feeling a little bit of the effects was because he didn’t want to make an abrupt transition and he wanted to be in control of the situation without having the guy come onto him.

            The young man cleared his throat. “Um, yes, I have a package for a Mr. Le Beau?”

            “Dat’s me,” he said pleasantly.

            “Oh, well I um, need you to sign this for me,” he said handing him a clip board with a shipping and receiving chart on it. Le Beau signed his name and gave it back to the boy. In exchange for the board, the boy gave him a neatly wrapped box. He watched him reach out with delicate hands and take the box from him, eyes glued to the action. Remy didn’t miss the glue since he was constantly aware of whose eyes were on what part of his body. It was a habit from being in the Thieves Guild, useful when picking pockets mostly.

            Remy took the box and then said, “Thank you,” to the boy and began to close the door.

            “Um, wait, Mr. Le Beau?” he said urgently. Remy paused in closing the door, but didn’t re-open it.

            “There– there was a card for you, too,” he said nervously. “The man who the delivery was from was really insistent that you get the card¼.” The boy’s hands were shaking when he held out the card. Was he that nervous? Remy’s ability to charm people usually had a relaxing effect, but here this boy was shaking like a leaf.  He noticed the card vibrating in his hand as Remy relieved him of it.

            “Who was it dat ordered the delivery?” he asked turning the hypnosis-like power up a notch to relax him.

            “Oh, umm¼.”  He tore his eyes away from Remy in order to inspect the clip board again. He lifted up the page to the side that had senders with matching order numbers. “A Mr. Matthew Curtswile.”

“Hmm,” Remy pondered briefly. The name wasn’t familiar. “Well, thank you again.” This time the door closed and he felt the boy watching it until it closed completely this time. He heard a sigh from behind the door and the boy’s footsteps down the stairs. He heard him leave in his car and then turned his attention to the box and card he had just received.

            He opened the card casually and some of the others had gathered to watch him open it. What, he thought silently to himself, had the others planted an exploding present for him to get? That would be a laugh. Then everybody would get double Danger Room duty. He smiled to himself. He could do that now… which bothered him as much as it pleased him.

            He turned his attention back to the card and read it silently.

            “For all the love you’ve shared with me, the steaming nights, that time beneath the tree, for all the time you’ve put up with me¼¼.” He opened the rest of the card up. Was it from Rogue? He’d die if it was from Sarah. They were both among the spectators. “I could never express all my love for thee,” was crossed out and written below it in messy handwriting was, “Give ya’ plenty more of  ‘em fer free!

            “Love so much, babe,

            “Creed.”

            Remy’s jaw dropped to the floor practically. He read it again and again unable to believe his eyes. “He didn’t¼.” he mumbled finally. He abandoned the card and started on the box with horror. It was a heart shaped box inside the bigger one.  “No!”

            He opened it up further to find that it was indeed a box of cheep chocolates.

            An eternity of shock later.

            “I’m gon’ kill ’im,” he mumbled low at first.  “I’m gon’ god damn kill ‘im!”

            “Who? What is it, Remy?”

            “None o’ yer beeze-wax!” Remy crumpled the card and folded up the box as best he could.  Taking it to the kitchen he was going to throw it away, but thought better of hiding evidence and so went to the back yard. He charged it all easily, too easily now, and threw it causing it to explode on his command rather than on impact. “Take that, Creed!” He had made sure no one was around when he shouted.

            That didn’t stop Wolverine from hearing him.

            When he went to go back into the house he was stopped by the impenetrable, although short, wall of Logan in his way. “Creed sendin’ you gifts, Le Beau?”

“God,” he mumbled up into the air, rolling his eyes. “It was a joke! It was a God damnable joke and he actually acted on it!”

“Since when you seen Sabertooth?”

“It was a while ago. I had to use his blood thirsty ass to get to Sinster, so unfortunately, I had to save his life in order to do that. It was a joke!”

“He’s givin’ you chocolate fer savin’ his life?”

            Remy snorted. “No. It was m’ attitude toward Sinister dat got m’ in his good graces. ‘S a long story, Logan, and I doubt you want to hear it.”

“Yer probly right.” At least he didn’t accept them and threw them out in a rage. That made it at least more Creed than it was Remy, But Logan still had the urge to keep an eye on Remy after this little episode.