Notes and partial chapters –

Summary (spoiler): Gojyo is raped by a group of youkai, and heads down a path of self destruction. Tensions build within the team until Sanzo finally confronts him. Gojyo attacks and rapes Sanzo in his blind rage/pain (purges the blackness that has built in his soul using Sanzo’s body). But, is it really rape? Sanzo gives absolution to Gojyo in the wake of the violent coupling.

“Where the hell is he?” Sanzo hissed as he paced angrily in the room they had rented. He knew by now exactly how many steps from one side to the other, having walked and counted it multiple times. From the bed on the far side of the room Hakkai simply watched the monk move back and forth.

“Ah Sanzo. Goyjo can take care of himself, this is just one of his little flings. He’ll be back soon. You don’t have to worry about him.” Hakkai had his patented smile planted on his face as he sat on the bed following the monk’s redundant pace.

Sanzo frowned at this. He was not worried about the damn half-breed. It was simply that they had a mission to fulfill and couldn’t afford to remain in the pathetic excuse of a town they had been in for almost a week now. There was nothing more than that and he expressed this rather vehemently to the healer of their group. Hakkai merely nodded his acceptance of the explanation as he watched the monk light his sixth cigarette in less than ten minutes. He understood it was a form of self-preservation the blonde practiced when he tried to convince himself and everyone around him that no one meant anything to him.

Hakkai maintained his ever present smile. “It’s a good thing you sent Goku down for some more cigarettes.”

The blonde only glared at him, sucking in another lung full of carcinogens. About to retort something scathing, they were both startled as the door swung open violently revealing a tall, lanky form leaning heavily against the frame. Shadows fell across his form and all that could be seen was outline of his shape. His head was bent allowing his hair to hide his face from them and he was holding one arm.

“Well it’s about damn time. Where the hell have you been?” Sanzo began a volley that was certain to last for some time. He had had plenty of time to rehearse the lecture he planned to give the kappa. Hakkai looked upon Goyjo with worry, noting the way he was standing, as if he was using every bit of strength just to remain upright. He stood and made he way over to his best friend, but stopped a few feet from Gojyo as the aroma hit his nostrils full force. In the background, Sanzo raged on about responsibility and stupidity, but Hakkai realized there was something terribly wrong. And he didn’t need to see Gojyo’s face to know what happened. He could smell the whole story and feel the pain rolling off the taboo child.

Sanzo had paused long enough to take a breath before starting a new string of curses, when Hakkai interrupted as politely as possible. “Ah ha Sanzo. You make such a good point. I’ll make sure Gojyo gets back to his room and thinks about what he’s done.” Without waiting for a reply, he stepped the last few feet towards his best friend and grabbed a bruised arm, earning a wince from the taller man. He spun Gojyo around and led him into the hall, shutting the door behind him. At that moment, he took the time to stop and look into the downcast eyes of the kappa. “Oh Gojyo. What happened?” He wasn’t surprised at the lack of response from the crimson haired man. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up before Sanzo decides to follow us back to your room to continue venting.” Hakkai sighed and gingerly led his wounded comrade towards the bath room down the hall.

It must have been shock, Hakkai decided. Gojyo was quiet the whole way. As he made it into the bath, the normally uninhibited kappa was suddenly tense and shy, weakly struggling at Hakkai’s attempts to remove his clothing. “Calm down Gojyo. I need to get you cleaned up so I can see to your wounds. I won’t hurt you.” The words seemed to calm him, but his body still tensed at any accidental brush of skin to skin. Hakkai managed to get him almost completely undressed, with the exception of his boxers which the healer felt best to leave on. Helping the kappa into the water, he started to clean off the evidence of whatever had happened. “Gojyo, talk to me. Tell me what happened. You’ve been gone for days now.” Nothing was forthcoming from the taller man. He stared down at the water, refusing the meet his friend’s eyes. Another sign from Hakkai as he tried a different topic. “Are you hungry? You look like you haven’t eaten in quite some time.” Again there was no response. The frown that was so unusual on Hakkai’s face only deepened.